Anyone with ROCD …. have you ever gone through ERP treatment and then broke up with your partner once you see clearly? I know this may be really triggering for folks. But I always hear how people stay with their partners after ROCD ERP and I think I’m using that as reassurance.

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

I keep asking questions about ERP because I'm trying to convince myself that it will actually work for R/E OCD. In one of the NOCD youtube videos, the analogy was "well people live with uncertainty all the time - they keep driving a car even if it can crash" etc. Yes, but driving a car is an uncertainty that people accept because it doesn't directly correlate to their IDENTITY, CHARACTER, and INTEGRITY. So to me that's an apples and oranges comparison. So yes I believe ERP can work (or I've heard) BUT can it work in the "right way" going forward. What I mean by that is do you come out of it 1) not having to accept a dogma / delusion? 2) do you keep your integrity and identity in tact or have to lie to yourself to move on from the real event? 3) is it TRUE peace of mind or just delusion? If it's not, if I have to sacrifice my integrity and identity to move on, to me that's not a genuine and sustainable solution it's just a bandaid. I hope someone who's done ERP can convince me otherwise because it'd be nice to move on from OCD

Hey, so I don't have ROCD, but my boyfriend does. And I'm kinda worried. Is it going to last forever? I don't want him to live with that disorder for the rest of his life. He is going to start doing ERP. I've read a tons of books about the process of ROCD recovery. I looked for articles, posts on Instagram, I googled, I asked ChatGPT and yet I'm still worried it won't get better. Everytimes he tells me about his thoughts, about how maybe I'm not the one, about how he potentially doesn't love me, it hurts. I know he must be suffering more than I am, but its still an horrible feeling. I keep telling myself that this is not him, that it is his ROCD talking and stuff, but I don't know.. Its just, a lot to handle. Can someone help me? If you recovered from ROCD please tell me. Tell me how it is. Tell me how you live with it. Are you happy in your relationship? Do you want to spend your life with this person? Are the thoughts still there but you manage to live with it? And as his girlfriend, what should I do if he keeps telling me those thoughts? I have so many questions