- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Fox - thanks. We have been together for 8 months in a LDR. He’s committed and plans to move out here I just wish he would be more supportive. He tends to lose his temper in the face of all the questioning and I lose my shit sometimes when I can’t get a hold of him. I think we focus on the ROCD way too much in the relationship. It takes over a lot of our conversations these days b/c of how he reacts and how I react to how he reacts. That cycle needs to break. We both try. We both love each other a lot. He’s the first man in ten years I felt I actually have a future with and I think that’s a lot of pressure to put on one person...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That’s amazing!! Great job ??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Awesome! I know how hard ROCD can be and it’s so important to have a supportive partner!!! Good for you!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
great job!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thanks!!! @Rory
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thanks @P, yeah I’m really glad about how supportive she is. I know a lot of people who would try to back out once they realized that “this isn’t going to be a simple relationship/ friendship”. I’m sorry you have to deal with ROCD as well, and I hope that you have found someone who is supportive and understanding and if you haven’t yet well know that you will find someone who’s right for you out there c:
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That’s great! It’s up in the air for me and my current partner unfortunately (he’s the “this isn’t what I signed up for” guy) ? so he might not be the right one after all which sucks to think about but something I have to accept. For now we push through it and try, try...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@P, aw I’m sorry to hear that. Guys don’t expect to have to do tend to these types of things but sometimes that’s just how life is. Idk how long you and him have been together but seeing that he’s still with you I think he does want things to work out. If he’s committed to the relationship he’ll make changes to his behaviour towards it. It’s likely that he’s scared about doing something wrong and doesn’t know how to act in ways that doesn’t trigger your ROCD, if he’s willing to listen you should bring up some pointers with him maybe like a ‘do and don’t’ sort of list. I hope everything turns out for the best between you two
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@P , Hey I'm happy to hear that he's committed and that you guys have bigger plans for the future. Just from reading this I think you guys do yes focus on the ROCD too much but maybe in a bad way. A lot of good can come from talking about your ROCD but when those conversations are arguments and fights or how those fights and arguments turn out it doesn't create a lot of room for constructive conversation. I think what might help is to give him some tips of what he can say when you bring up something that seems like you're accusing him of something and I think he needs to learn some calming excercises like breathing strategies to help keep his cool. Idk if you have done this already but you should talk to him about the FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) Principle. He needs to know that the evidence you find is for a lack of better words not real. I really do hope the best for you two, it sounds like you really really feel connected to him and love him very much.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. I’m a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. That’s when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime I’m in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because that’s not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if I’m a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but it’s there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often he’s not real that stuff isn’t real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so I’m really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this it’s a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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