babygirl2123
- Date posted
- 4y
briii🌸briii🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
Me tooo ! I had my first instrusive thought in June . The whole month of Aug I didn’t / wasn’t thinking about it, & it suddenly came back it scary. You just have to constantly stay busy so you don’t ruminate. That’s the problem
kmecroz85kmecroz85
- Date posted
- 4y
Heyyyy! So I've had it off and on for 9 years. I didn't know what it was though until like a year ago. I've come to realize our (at least for me) my first initial bout was soooooo intense. It was really bad. That's what I remember. So I think these little relapses are just PTSD moments for me. I'm afraid of being afraid again. What we have to remember is that we already beat it, we can beat it again. We're equipped to handle it. My issue lately is that it's the first thing I think of when I wake up "I wonder if I'll have an episode today" and then insert an example of a thought. Or like .... I'll see something that used to trigger me and I'll be like, "Look, I'm not triggered anymore" and then boom - insert thought. So, it's like I bring it up bc I'm so used to it. So I'm kind of waiting for this part to pass. Another thing I've realized through my journey is that it's always another obstacle. For a while I was afraid to drive by water in case I'd drive into it to die. That doesn't bother me anymore. If I feel anxious (even if it has nothing to do with HO) I immediately relate it to HO. So, I know this will pass. You've just gotta give yourself some Grace. After all if you stop and TRULY think about it - you're not running from actually doing it - bc you know deep down that really ultimately you have the choice and you know that the likelyhood of you choosing to do something horrific is the same percentage as getting hit by a meteor reading this right now. What we're really running from is the emotion and the thought. I read that in an article and I was like soooooo true! So we know that emotions are only informational tools (see my previous post) as well as thoughts. At the end of the day we still have free will and choice. We will never snap (no one ever snaps - that's a misconception in media - my counselor told me that). So remember that when those thoughts come in and we become afraid and we try to do a compulsion to run from it - you're only validating the emotion and thought - which are actually not even a reflection of who you are. What makes you you is your belief system and actions. Not your emotions and thoughts. It'll get better. We are all recovering together. :) Jeremiah 29:11
babygirl2123babygirl2123
- Date posted
- 4y
Omg thank you so much for taking you’re time to explain things from you’re point of view ! it’s crazy how everything you said i can completely agree too the relapse is just ptsd of having from before 😩 i literally went 3 whole months without got scared that it was to good to be true and BOOM the thoughts are ALL back🥺
kmecroz85kmecroz85
- Date posted
- 4y
You're welcome! My issue today is seriously I keep bringing it up to myself. So the what if thoughts are, "What if you really want to do it, bc you keep bringing it up? What if you just do it so the thoughts stop and you move on?" It's realllllyyyyy stupid. Once you see it for what it is, it'll stop being so controlling. When the PTSD kicks in, just remember you're thinking of a memory. You already beat it, it's over. Don't try to force the feeling away, but just check your surroundings and ground yourself in the moment. It'll pass. This too really will pass. I always say the days seem long but the years are short. I really refuse to live with this any longer. I will no longer let it take time away from me loving my children. I've missed so much from letting fear rule my life. I'm done. Christ has healed me from this, truly He has. Counseling here on NOCD helped too but I'm telling you my faith is what got me through when OCD was at it's worst.
babygirl2123babygirl2123
- Date posted
- 4y
Same here , i started going to church most sundays and prayed and prayed god would make a miracle for me and it help a lot with my ocd as well, but once i got to busy with work i couldn’t go as much and i don’t have it has bad as before but also for my trigger is my daughter when i do get it this time around and scares the living heck out of me! as before i just had the scary thoughts but not toward a specific person
kmecroz85kmecroz85
- Date posted
- 4y
@babygirl2123 Yes, I know. It suckkkssss. You will make it through it though. Just know the thoughts and feelings aren't you. You are in control of your beliefs and control of your actions. Don't be like me, I let it steal so many precious moments from my kiddos bc I was afraid of being afraid around them. So I would keep myself busy or make sure I never had alone time with them. I have missed out on soooo much. I see that now which is another reason I speak up about my journey and try to educate those around me. I refuse to live this way anymore seriously. I'm having moments today and I keep going nope, not today. I also started my period today so I know that's another source for the ocd attack. It is always bad around my cycle. TMI I know - but it's truth.
babygirl2123babygirl2123
- Date posted
- 4y
@kmecroz85 omg same here i’m on my cycle as well Tmi . but its a hugeeeee trigger! seriously thank you for taking you’re time out definitely know im not alone in this
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samlovesjesus
- Date posted
- 25w
how do i know if i have OCD?
so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?
Thejollygian...
- Date posted
- 25w
My Harm OCD
Basically long story short, ive been dealing with anxiety for a very long time all my life I'm 23 now but about 5 months ago my anxiety started to get really and I overthink a ton and get worried to easily. So my chest hurt for a while from stress at work made me worry why it was hurting, then me worrying and thinking worse case scenarios was making it worse. So i and to go to the doctor and got diagnosed properly with anxiety and I have a med now that I take when I really need it called hydroxyzine but I also have another med that is Zoloft that I have been taking for a about a month now, to help with my intrusive thoughts I have sometimes i only get them when im stressed or when I'm by myself or when i just overthink in general, my loneliness depression is one of the reasons for my anxiety because I wish I had someone as in partner wise to love me and for me to love them. But anyways I've had intrusive thoughts about possibly hurting myself and family, or even my dog. Ive never acted on any of my thoughts in the past and I don't want to but I have had anxiety attacks when everything feels to real and really scares me. I constantly have the thought of am I crazy or am I becoming crazy and stuff and I've done a lot of looking stuff in the past about symptoms but most of them are identical to what anxiety is so it's hard to tell the difference. It's been probably 2 weeks since we last talked. I've been mostly doing good. But I just was wondering if had a little Harm OCD intrusive thought happen yesterday that targeted my Aunt at work she was complaining all day and when it got closer to the end of the shifts for us. I was already annoyed with a situation that happened earlier in the work day. But she came into my department and then went back over to hers and I said it out loud to myself and said you better get back over there or I'll, I tried to say something else because the word I was going to say was kill you. Obviously I don't but that's what my intrusive thought wanted me to say. And made me think thats why i got to hurt her to stop her complaing So the rest of the night I was saying she is safe I am safe I'm control, like this is just anxiety lying to you, it's just because I'm tired and got annoyed earlier. I can't tell if it was working or not because I was so tired and just wanted to go home. But after work her and I spent time together at our house she was on the one couch and I was on the other with a bunch of our dogs in the living room. I tried to keep my mind off of what happened, and I was fighting some stomach achyness already. But I obviously don't want to hurt her and we had conversations just fine. But I went to my other aunt house at night after work to go to bed because she has to watch my aunts dogs because my other aunt and family is on vacation. But anyways I'm trying to get over that word Kill, that word is what is scarring me and sticking. Like my anxiety is lying saying kill, or basically do harm. I don't want to do anything bad but I'm trying to shake that feeling and stickiness of that word. I'm just so scared and worried.
joshuadrennen
- Date posted
- 23w
struggling with harm OCD
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
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