Does anyone compare stupid scenes with men and women. Example :yesterday night, I compared that What would be my reaction if I was shirtless with boys vs girls

Sometimes I get really really excited at the idea of falling in love with someone, I guess that’s pretty normal but what I’m feeling now isn’t. To make a long story short, I’ve known a boy from a video game for about a year, he all of a sudden got insanely sexual with me and refuses to talk to me now until I “ give him pics”. (I’m not gonna give that to him, no worries there). I realized I got obsessed with the idea that “ we might be friends then lovers”, and because of that I literally want to cry knowing his intentions. Someone told me” boys will be boys, they just think with their (redacted)”, and that made it worse. With my history of men being sexual with me as a child, my brain is obsessing over the idea that it will always be this way.

What is it about getting a groinal réaction, feeling like you are into it with the not-prefered gender and not getting any with you partner and prefered gender? As i am not fzeling anxiety it really confuses me like do i want to have a girl not a boy

Do you guys evevr get confused when you see a masculine female I saw one And her hairs were so short and she had that masculine body its impossible to say she's a woman.. Im scared im attracted to her.. And ngl she looks like a man.. She's handsome .im sacred...im attracted yo ehr and i cant deny it..😞😨❓⁉️