- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm so happy to not be alone in this... ;-; I'm so sorry you are suffering from the same thing... I feel you... I actually am... Sort of asexual as well?? It's complicated... I have levels... My sexuality is fucking weird. I'm very ace but not entirely. I actually have a gf and I'm attracted to her but I feel like I'm asexual a few days and others I'm demi.
- Date posted
- 4y
@depressedaf It is!! I'm so sorry for being happy that I found someone like me... It makes me so sad to know you are suffering from the same! But... I'm also happy I'm not alone in this... I'm sorry for being selfish... But not feeling alone helps me greatly.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s the thing, OCD isn’t ALWAYS wrong. It’s just that you get so hyper focused on whether it’s right or not that it’s difficult to take a step back and take in the bigger picture. What I’m about to say may trigger your OCD so don’t read on if your not ready for that. So what if you are one? It’s certainly a possibility, there are people that are attracted to minors, very much a thing that happens at times. So what emotions does that make you feel? Disgust? Shame? Fear? Anxiety? All of the above? The key is to feel those emotions rather than trying to prove them away. As you get comfortable with that uncomfortableness, you will learn to take that step back and get clarity. You will not get that clarity by desperately trying to prove to yourself that everything is fine. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” Feel the pain that comes along with considering the possibility of something so terrible. And then move on with your day. You’re strong and you got this!
- Date posted
- 4y
I understand what you mean... I do! Don't get me wrong! My ocd comes after a random thought... Until I was almost 21, I never felt attracted to children. But once a random thought settles in, a whole new world of possibilities opens up. "I never thought about finding children attractive but maybe that's a possibility. What makes me so certain I'm not?" (sighs) I'm terrified that this is so similar to sexual orientation ocd that I'm driving myself to tears... The issue with being a "p' is that I wouldn't be able to live with that truth. I would probably kill myself if I actually am attracted to children.
- Date posted
- 4y
Wait no are u saying I’m a p??? I don’t want to be. I have no desire. I’m spiralling. Oh my god I’m so scared
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous321 I’m not saying you are, not saying you’re not. What I’m saying is that the only way to help your OCD is to accept that it’s a possibility, live with the possibility, and stop trying to prove to yourself that you are or aren’t, just let the terrifying feelings be there. I know how hard it is. I’ve been there. You’re not alone. Good luck and don’t try and push the scary feelings away. You have OCD so chances are you are a very strong person. You can do this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 14w
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
- Date posted
- 13w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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