- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm so happy to not be alone in this... ;-; I'm so sorry you are suffering from the same thing... I feel you... I actually am... Sort of asexual as well?? It's complicated... I have levels... My sexuality is fucking weird. I'm very ace but not entirely. I actually have a gf and I'm attracted to her but I feel like I'm asexual a few days and others I'm demi.
- Date posted
- 4y
@depressedaf It is!! I'm so sorry for being happy that I found someone like me... It makes me so sad to know you are suffering from the same! But... I'm also happy I'm not alone in this... I'm sorry for being selfish... But not feeling alone helps me greatly.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s the thing, OCD isn’t ALWAYS wrong. It’s just that you get so hyper focused on whether it’s right or not that it’s difficult to take a step back and take in the bigger picture. What I’m about to say may trigger your OCD so don’t read on if your not ready for that. So what if you are one? It’s certainly a possibility, there are people that are attracted to minors, very much a thing that happens at times. So what emotions does that make you feel? Disgust? Shame? Fear? Anxiety? All of the above? The key is to feel those emotions rather than trying to prove them away. As you get comfortable with that uncomfortableness, you will learn to take that step back and get clarity. You will not get that clarity by desperately trying to prove to yourself that everything is fine. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” Feel the pain that comes along with considering the possibility of something so terrible. And then move on with your day. You’re strong and you got this!
- Date posted
- 4y
I understand what you mean... I do! Don't get me wrong! My ocd comes after a random thought... Until I was almost 21, I never felt attracted to children. But once a random thought settles in, a whole new world of possibilities opens up. "I never thought about finding children attractive but maybe that's a possibility. What makes me so certain I'm not?" (sighs) I'm terrified that this is so similar to sexual orientation ocd that I'm driving myself to tears... The issue with being a "p' is that I wouldn't be able to live with that truth. I would probably kill myself if I actually am attracted to children.
- Date posted
- 4y
Wait no are u saying I’m a p??? I don’t want to be. I have no desire. I’m spiralling. Oh my god I’m so scared
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous321 I’m not saying you are, not saying you’re not. What I’m saying is that the only way to help your OCD is to accept that it’s a possibility, live with the possibility, and stop trying to prove to yourself that you are or aren’t, just let the terrifying feelings be there. I know how hard it is. I’ve been there. You’re not alone. Good luck and don’t try and push the scary feelings away. You have OCD so chances are you are a very strong person. You can do this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
- Date posted
- 16w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
- Date posted
- 14w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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