Why does it feel like the thoughts aren’t there and I just don’t love him? It’s saying “you don’t love him and there’s no changing my mind” and it feels real because there isn’t any anxiety. Do I just not love him?

But earlier I had a moment for like an hour where I felt really happy to be with him and this thought just feels incredibly frustrating or this feeling does. It doesn’t feel like me it just kinda feels lifeless. I don’t understand

Hey! I’ve been in this exact spot. Please remember that feeling intense anxiety and distress for weeks on end is not sustainable for the human body - your numb feelings are a result of that, not a measurement of love for your partner. I wonder if it would help at all for you to reflect on whether feelings are a realistic way to measure your love. My rOCD got so much easier to deal with when I took the pressure off needing to feel love, and focused on making sure I was connected to myself. In saying that, I don’t want to provide reassurance - so alternately, i wonder if it would help if you did some exposure on it by accepting that maybe you don’t love your partner? That’s another thing that helped me to recover from Rocd - I would respond to the thoughts by saying ‘’ maybe I do love him, maybe I don’t and I’m an awful girlfriend. Either way, I choose to be with this person today”. It’s a lot easier said than done and takes practise. But from experience I can promise that this too will pass 💛

It’s so confusing it’s like I’m searching for them and I feel like I have nothing to talk about with him or really anyone because I am just drained. And it’s such a frustrating spot to be in. I think I am too concentrated on how I’m feeling. My grandma always says “you’ll realize if you aren’t hyper focused on how you’re feeling you won’t notice it and you’ll come back to yourself” because she also dealt with ocd but doesn’t really anymore

@Anonymous& And it feels like I can’t even argue with the thoughts anymore

Yeah I think your grandma has hit the nail on the head! I think the point is to NOT argue the thoughts - as hard as that is. Don’t search for loving feelings - just let them be. If they come they come. If they don’t they don’t. I know it’s so exhausting and draining particularly when your ocd attacks the person you love the most. But don’t give up! I can promise you that with acceptance comes peace. I know when I was in this spot I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there x

I think I’ve argued with them so much that it just doesn’t work anymore or sound right. My fav compulsion has been ruined 😂

@Anonymous& And yes it 100% is draining. I feel empty as hell