I see and OCD specialist and she is on vacation for 2 weeks. When I tell her my thoughts in session, she often asks me what the worst case scenario is and why does it matter if it is true. Typically, I end up deciding that it doesn’t really matter if it’s true. But for some reason with my current obsession it feels like it really matters if it’s true and I don’t have her to talk to about it. I’m wondering if I should post my thought on here so that I can get feedback on the “so what if it’s true” part, but I don’t want to come off as seeking reassurance because I’m not. Thoughts?

Thanks so much for your support. I’m a therapist and used to work in an inpatient drug and alcohol center. 2-3 years ago I had a client that was very troubled, I always felt like I had to help him or save him, but I also found his very attractive. This led to me often getting him out of trouble because I would always believe him and spending extra time helping him or talking to him than other clients. I tried to explain this to my therapist at the time and she suggested I needed to transfer him to another therapist and keep my distance. I told her I had no intention of being unprofessional or being romantically involved with him and she asked me “is it worth the risk?” And I responded “no.” Now I am wondering did I think there was a small risk I could slip up and cheat on my boyfriend with him and continued to talk to him and spend extra time with him anyway? And if so why would I take that risk? I am trying to sit with “so what if I did think there was a risk” but that thought sounds SO horrible to me. Like I’m not allowed to do anything where I could think there is a small possible risk in which maybe I could cheat. Btw, cheating is my absolute worst fear and I don’t remember ever wanting to cheat on him.

Yea, I think you are right. If I wanted to avoid any possible risk that could potentially lead to cheating I would basically have to lock myself inside a box. There are attractive men online, in the grocery store, everywhere. And you’re right, just because there could be a risk doesn’t mean I would act on it, I have the ability to make choices. It’s not like I have no control over my body and words and decisions or something haha. Me and my boyfriend just got engaged and are having a baby in two months so I’ve been a little extra triggered. Thank you so much for responding to this.

@Anonymous That’s ok! You are so right with all that! I’m also going through therapy and working on my worries too! But yes you can’t lock yourself in s box to avoid all risk that’s just impossible!! There will always be some and you’ve just got to learn to live with it and trust yourself ❤️ Congrats with the baby and the emgadgement ! That’s super exiting all the best xx