I see and OCD specialist and she is on vacation for 2 weeks. When I tell her my thoughts in session, she often asks me what the worst case scenario is and why does it matter if it is true. Typically, I end up deciding that it doesn’t really matter if it’s true. But for some reason with my current obsession it feels like it really matters if it’s true and I don’t have her to talk to about it. I’m wondering if I should post my thought on here so that I can get feedback on the “so what if it’s true” part, but I don’t want to come off as seeking reassurance because I’m not. Thoughts?

Aheatherb

Date posted: 4y

I don’t think it’s seeking reassurance if so what if it’s true is part of your treatment! What’s the thought lovely? Xx

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

Thanks so much for your support. I’m a therapist and used to work in an inpatient drug and alcohol center. 2-3 years ago I had a client that was very troubled, I always felt like I had to help him or save him, but I also found his very attractive. This led to me often getting him out of trouble because I would always believe him and spending extra time helping him or talking to him than other clients. I tried to explain this to my therapist at the time and she suggested I needed to transfer him to another therapist and keep my distance. I told her I had no intention of being unprofessional or being romantically involved with him and she asked me “is it worth the risk?” And I responded “no.” Now I am wondering did I think there was a small risk I could slip up and cheat on my boyfriend with him and continued to talk to him and spend extra time with him anyway? And if so why would I take that risk? I am trying to sit with “so what if I did think there was a risk” but that thought sounds SO horrible to me. Like I’m not allowed to do anything where I could think there is a small possible risk in which maybe I could cheat. Btw, cheating is my absolute worst fear and I don’t remember ever wanting to cheat on him.

Aheatherb

Date posted: 4y

So what if it was risky? If we never took risks we would never move forward? There is pretty much risk in anything we do… and that’s just something us with OCD have to accept! So there was a risk, instead of avoiding, you were ok with the risk being there, and the risk lead to nothing.. well I think that’s great! That’s you standing up to OCD, sitting with the risk and just getting on with your job! Sounds like the love you have for your partner is stronger than any risk! And so what if you had a bad thought? It doesn’t mean your going to act on it! Just let it be and let it pass you by ?!

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y

Yea, I think you are right. If I wanted to avoid any possible risk that could potentially lead to cheating I would basically have to lock myself inside a box. There are attractive men online, in the grocery store, everywhere. And you’re right, just because there could be a risk doesn’t mean I would act on it, I have the ability to make choices. It’s not like I have no control over my body and words and decisions or something haha. Me and my boyfriend just got engaged and are having a baby in two months so I’ve been a little extra triggered. Thank you so much for responding to this.

Aheatherb

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous That’s ok! You are so right with all that! I’m also going through therapy and working on my worries too! But yes you can’t lock yourself in s box to avoid all risk that’s just impossible!! There will always be some and you’ve just got to learn to live with it and trust yourself ❤️ Congrats with the baby and the emgadgement ! That’s super exiting all the best xx

blehh

Date posted: 18w

Advice?

I’m trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms aren’t real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i don’t. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if she’ll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 10w

Playing Devils Advocate Advice please

I’ve been gone for about a month, mostly because I kept seeing messages on here that felt super anxiety-inducing and not understanding of OCD at all. Honestly, it got to the point where I started getting nervous to even open the app. Lately, I’ve been stuck in this OCD loop that I think might be moral scrupulosity or something like that. I’ve been dealing with this thing where I feel like I have to “challenge” stuff mentally or verbally, like if I don’t say something out loud, it feels super uncomfortable. And the thoughts are about heavy stuff, like assault or deportation or just really morally loaded topics. My brain starts picking everything apart. It’s like I have to look at things fairly, and then I get trapped in all these little technicalities. For example, if someone gets assaulted, my brain fixates on stuff like “what was she wearing”even though I know how harmful that line of thinking is. That is exactly the kind of thing my mind zooms in on. It happens with a bunch of topics too, not just that. I feel like I have to give the benefit of the doubt to the aggressor or see “both sides,” and then I end up doubting the victim. And the worst part is, it feels like I truly believe these devil’s advocate thoughts. It feels so real. It’s like I become convinced that the victim might be lying or that there’s some justification for the harm, and I don’t like it. This even happens with my boyfriend and especially his family. I’ll catch my brain flipping narratives or making me question people I trust. this has been a “habit”for as long as I can remember but now it’s happening so much more. I cannot stop doubting. It feels like I’m siding with people who I should have no doubts to be against. I don’t know what to do or what kind of ERP would work for this. I don’t know how to change this. It’s been apart of me so long, it simply feels like me.

ocdisnotaslay

Date posted: 6w

Hey guys have a question

What is it called when with ur ocd lets say if ur ocd theme happens like when you watch videos and ur mind comes up with something or your hypeaaware, but you feel like u cant tell ur therapist cus the video is proof because no one else would’ve thought that, and you know its not true anyways you just had intrusive feeling, but i know compulsions wont do anything but ur finding it hard to sit with this really scary thing like ohm ur accepting being this bad thing or if you have reassurance at least you’d know for sure,how can u live without knowing for sure even tho uknoe its deffo just ur ocd idk if this makes sense and what you call it ?:) if anyone could help me out

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