- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Totally get it š thatās almost the exact same story I had myself growing up when sexual orientation OCD hit me actually. Iām so sorry youāre going through this. It is tough and draining. But you have a whole lifetime with moments filled of strength, resilience and wellbeing in front of you š . Allow yourself to be okay with not knowing 100% your sexuality. Thoughts, feelings, attractions, responses etc all ebb and flow and most or all of them actually donāt require our hypervigilant assessment! Our brains are just working too hard on the things that trigger our obsessions for something that doesnāt even need figuring out to begin with!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi, Iām new here!! Iām praying I donāt get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I canāt believe weāre almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasnāt a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, Iāve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, Itās gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just canāt exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I donāt know if it happened or not. Iām sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels ā offā. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that thatās a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just canāt accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . Itās not just about sexual related things either, sometimes Iāll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think itās ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now theyāre just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself itās two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself itās alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if itās just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but itās confusing. On top of that Iāve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like Iād be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk Iāve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that Iām straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 18w
I havenāt been diagnosed with it, but I feel like nothing else describes me better. If you do have this feeling and thoughts, what are some ways to lower your anxiety ?
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