LiamC1
- Date posted
- 3y
rayellerayelle
- Date posted
- 3y
I also am terrified of this… it haunts me, honestly. These types of intrusive thoughts are so uncomfy and unsettling, and I am constantly horrified and scared of my own mind. But with that being said, it is our mind. It’s not our actions, or our beliefs. It is just our brain thinking a thought that is distorted and not true because it’s a part of having OCD. I try to separate myself from my OCD when I get scared. I say to myself “this isn’t something I am comfortable thinking about, so it is my disorder symptoms. It isn’t me or my true beliefs. It is just part of my symptoms, which are things I do not choose.” I hope that was helpful. You are wonderful and you seem to be incredibly kind so try not to villianize yourself, especially because you didn’t do anything wrong and this is NOT your fault. I’m here, always.
LiamC1LiamC1
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you… it’s just… so hard to live with the thought that you could be this awful monster that everyone would despise. i know for a fact i’d never try to do anything to a child but… i’m capable of if, i had the thoughts of it, doesn’t that mean i want to? i hate that thought so much. i do NOT want it. sometimes my mind tells me i’m only feeling shame because i have the thoughts and like them. i never like the thoughts. they make me so angry and they make me so sad.
rayellerayelle
- Date posted
- 3y
@LiamC1 i don’t really have the words except to let you know that i wholeheartedly understand. i am sending nothing but good vibes ur way, and maybe this app can help all of us get through this. but remind yourself, you are not a bad person and bad thoughts don’t define you, especially when it’s coming from something out of our control. i hope u can get through today the best u can. feel free to vent always.
LiamC1LiamC1
- Date posted
- 3y
@blueberrysunshine i’m struggling so much because while i was out for a walk i got the thought ‘you know i bet looking up cp is pretty easy’ and that turned into ‘oh god i’d never do that’ and now it feels like an urge to try looking it up. i do NOT want to look this shit up and it’s making me sick. why is my mind telling me ‘go for it, you want it!’ i don’t want to look up cp. i know i never would but my mind says ‘maybe you will’. i want this urge to stop. it literally just started today but it’s so strong and makes me so angry.
NicaNica
- Date posted
- 3y
Even though it’s hard, you have to stop fighting the thoughts and seeking reassurance. It only makes things worse.
LiamC1LiamC1
- Date posted
- 3y
it’s so hard to stop fighting the thoughts, i get scared that if i do, that means i accept them.
NicaNica
- Date posted
- 3y
@LiamC1 You do have to accept them (or ignore them) if you want to get better.
Related posts
Anonymousssssss
- Date posted
- 18w
Can someone please offer words of advice :(
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m overwhelmed, I can’t stand it.
I keep getting thoughts of this 6 year old kid n I don’t know what to do, they keep coming and they give me a sense of attraction, I don’t wanna be attracted to kids, it feels too real as well, I feel a need to check if I was attracted or not constantly, and it genuinely feels like attraction, please help me I don’t wanna be a pedo. Whenever I try to think abt something romantic or about someone my age I’m actually into, that kid keeps popping up.
Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 12w
I’m confused
I keep wondering if I’m attracted to this kid I saw a week ago or not, it keeps happening, I can’t figure it out, what I hope is false attraction is feeling too real, I don’t wan to like the kid, I never wish to like kids, I genuinely feel like I’m just in doubt, I can’t figure it out, it feels weird, I don’t feel any guilt, shame, disgust, or panic, idk why but ik that I’m supposed to feel that, it makes me feel like I’m a real p. I barley get any negative emotion from those thoughts anymore, even when these thoughts started I didn’t feel shame or guilt, but I think I did feel worry and panic, I’m not sure anymore, I don’t remember.
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