I have been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend for over a year. He is always there to help me with my anxiety he is amazing. The past few months I started having these HOCD thoughts. But I have not been to a therapist. Anytime I see a woman I get the “gronial response” I am very afraid these thoughts are real and I don’t love my boyfriend. This has effected our intimate relationship. I feel like anytime we get intimate I get afraid I won’t get turned on because I think I am lesbian and then I don’t get as turned on as I could. I don’t know what to do or how to make the thoughts go away and I don’t want to lose my boyfriend.

for the first few months of me having those thoughts I didn’t know that HOCD was a thing and then I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ocd and I started looking it up and it started making so much more sense to me so I guess just knowing that many other people have these same intrusive thoughts and are going through the same thing makes me remember that it isn’t real and i’m not alone. I guess I just had to grow out of it in a way but I know how hard it is, you just have to remind yourself that just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. thoughts and even feelings are not reality. just remind yourself of those things!

It might be worth looking up rocd, some of the thoughts could be related to this as well. I suffer with it, and what I try to do and know has worked for others is accept the thoughts. Don't engage with it - live with the fact you might be a lesbian, and this will eventually stop the anxiety as your brain will learn not to fear it. I know thats hard. And these obsessive thoughts will never stop, but they'll become less frequent and won't bother you. Try seeing a therapist and ERP is proven to be a good treatment too. Good luck

It is so hard to deal with. I wish it would all go away

@gfaux yes this same thing has been happening to me too, we will all get through it!

literally exactly what happened to me the end of last year and I was with my boyfriend for over a year at that point too. it’s been getting better but I know exactly how you feel and how intrusive and scary and annoying it is. you will get through it!

What did you do to get through it? I am so scared these thoughts will get real,

Thank you guys so much

We basically are going through the same thing. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Ive been enjoying our relationship immensely and i know i love him 100%, but then when we were intimate i couldnt focus at all cuz my brain just wasnt there. It was constantly telling me i cant be attracted to him because im not actually attracted to men (which is false) Its the worst and i absolutely hate it. I absolutely emptathize with you in every way i can