- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Mine has been terrible. I cannot express or even put into words how difficult and how bad it has been for me personally and I'm sure for everyone else as well. I fully believe my mental compulsions have made it way worse for myself. If I would have, in the beginning, stuck with maybe/maybe not and sat with the feelings and uncertainty then maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad for me. Or maybe it would have. Who knows. lol
I totally agree
I know what you mean Im going through a break up with my girlfriend. And all I want is for us to be together. And to top it off my HOCD starts to play up and make things even worse. So difficult what to believe sometimes. But I need to be better with living with uncertainty as hard as it is
@Anonymous š„ŗ Just did š
@Anonymous š„ŗ Hope it helps
Me too
Man, it gets pretty bad. Back in my peak I was MISERABLE. I was constantly sobbing, terrified that I was gay, while spending at least 13 hours a day doing compulsions. Bad, bad times.
@Ope Yupppp
@Ope Bad times
I donāt know what to do with this bs anymore. Iām crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. Iāve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and itās so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I donāt want it to be the truth. I donāt want to accept any possibility.
I feel I have HOCD FOR MORE THAN 10 years now. Basically all my ocd started since me and my husband started dating for realā¦. Will it ever go away? Will I ever be happy? Will I ever know? I donāt know⦠How long for you? Edit for me itās more SO OCD cause I think Iām bisexual
Iāve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, Iāve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not Iām secretly gay, even though I donāt feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and thatās why Iām having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that Iām repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same questionāam I gay?āand no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesnāt go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didnāt, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. Itās exhausting, and I donāt know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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