- Username
- horchata_
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I need for people to stop telling me I can do it because I already know I can’t. Not right now. Not until I get back on meds I’m one step away from driving my car off the bridge And okay. I’m around kids ALL THE TIME and yes I’m fine. But this is a whole another level I’m not mentally prepared for. This isn’t avoidance, I’m trying to save my fucking life here
@amazinggirl that’s rough. I’m sorry too, I’m just really frustrated with this whole situation I don’t want to quit my job. I’m over here making calls again to see if I can get in to see anyone
I have seen some of the other posts. You’re a trooper. Seems like it’s not quite avoidance if you’ve put some time into it. But I gotta imagine you’re engaging in mental compulsions like crazy. And ultimately, while exposing yourself to the thing that scares you is good, if it’s too overwhelming to respond skillfully, then it might not be useful at the moment. Hope you don’t stay away from childcare permanently, though. Seems like you have a gift for it and ultimately OCD can’t be a leading factor in major life choices long term. Unsustainable.
And while you def COULD tell them, I wouldn’t. Most people don’t know enough to understand.
I’m also like VERY good at my job so it’s making everything disappointing I don’t wanna quit but I’m off my meds and I can’t get in to see anyone until next month
Can you handle pushing through and sticking with the gig?
if you really want to quit, tell them you’re trying to take better care of yourself and deal with your OCD and this is one step towards that. if they keep pressing, you can say that’s all you’re comfortable discussing right now. health (physical and mental) is personal, it’s rude to push on someone for more details. it’s awesome when people are willing to share more info and help erode stigma, but it’s not required. do whatever you gotta do for you!
@fivel I doubt it man, I’m already having hella anxiety about it and it’s two weeks away @erh460 I’m not comfortable telling them I have OCD at all like I doubt letting them know would help lol Idk if you guys read my other posts about babysitting but basically it’s overnight and it’s going to be two weeks while the parents are on vacay. The kid is 6 so he needs help changing and bathing. And he has anxiety about sleeping alone and wants someone right next to him. I did a trial run of 5 days and it was just the worse, intrusive thoughts times infinity.
Thanks @Fivel. I have a lot to consider
Seems like you’re trying to practice some radical self care. That’s awesome. And re: mental compulsions, I just meant during those overnights. Lion’s den, you know?
Yeah. You’re right tho lol I am doing a lot of mental compulsions and it’s just not a fun time
I work with kids also and I had pocd. I didn’t quit although I wanted to. Do I still get thoughts? Yes but it’s not as terrifying as before. Don’t let ocd win, use it as exposure, show your brain there is nothing to be afraid of
@amazinggirl are you on meds rn? Do you have access to a psychiatrist or therapy? Do you have a good support system? Cause I sure don’t at the moment
My apologies. I’m not on meds or seeing a psychiatrist. No one knows what I’m going through
@horchata_ what about telling them you’re studying for something instead then? like school if you’re in it or the GRE/GMAT/LSAT if not? you could also say you’ve gotten more hours at your other job and won’t be able to help out anymore.
POCD Trigger: I really hate this disorder and I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I work at a daycare and I’m constantly bombarded with these thoughts that I have hurt a child or even molested them. It is the worst feeling and part of me knows I’d never do that but my OCD really does take over my life. Today, for instance, I was rocking on of the children and I rocked them for two seconds by accident and it told me I molested them. And when I when to pick them up to put them in the play area my hand accidente touched the front of their leg and it told me again I had hurt them, a similar thing happened with another child today where I was feeding them and I accidentally rocked them and I was now a molester. It really is the hardest disorder to deal with. And I hate how it attacked my occupation, I love working with kids and child psychology and everything, but my ocd is really affecting everything.
I have a dilemma. You might’ve seen my previous posts about me babysitting a kid that isn’t mine. Trigger warning for POCD It started off small. One night I helped him change into PJs Then I had him for a whole week, a lot of changing and bath time. And also the kid is terrified of sleeping alone and needs someone RIGHT NEXT TO HIM which is REALLY HORRIBLE for me During this week I was having hella intrusive thoughts and eventually had a complete melt down (while the kids were at school) This is my only income at the moment, from this family who hires me to tutor the kids and occasionally babysit. I used to tutor a lot more kids but I reduced my hours because of intrusive thoughts I agreed to babysit for two weeks while the parents go on vacation in April. I’m already having a shit ton of anxiety about it. I tried looking for a therapist but I’m having no luck finding someone who accepts my insurance. I’ve also stopped taking my meds because they made me suicidal. My access to mental health professionals right now is limited so I can’t really go talk to a professional about this situation. My best friend is strongly urging me to tell them I will not be able to babysit in April. Even if it’s last minute because of how bad my anxiety got just that one week before and because I’m already dreading it. I know this is good exposure but probably not the best idea since I don’t have a professional guiding me. I don’t even know what to tell the parents about why I suddenly can’t babysit if we’ve had this agreement for months. I’m not looking for reassurance or advice on how to deal with the thoughts. What would you do though? If you were me and your anxiety is through the roof and your meds are fucked and no one takes your insurance and you’ll be stuck babysitting a little boy for two weeks (helping him change and bathe and sleep in the same bed) like I can’t... How would I even explain this to anyone?
Hey so I’m an 18 year old college student I’ve had ocd for a long time but I never wanted to admit this aspect of it as part of it and I still don’t. That’s why I won’t say it cause I’ll just end up crying again. I don’t even want to post about it cause this would just make the problem real. I know I’m not sexually attracted to them but my mind wants to trick me and I end up getting confused on which is rlly me, like the other aspects of my ocd. It spiked ig when someone sent me a meme and it was fine but at the end of it it showed a child being shown in a sexual way which was suppose to I guess be funny but it wasn’t rlly funny to me at all and got uncomfortable and the pocd thoughts came in hard and I had such a bad panic attack and then I felt the need to go back and check to see what I was feeling and went to the video the next day after avoiding it to see which after reading the threads here is I guess a big no no? I know I’m not sexually attracted but my mind is playing these games and confuses me and I’m so scared to even talk to my therapist about it or ask people for help cause what if they think I’m a pedophile? Children genuinely make me happy and I have a motherly instinct to care for them but my mind turns it into something darker and I know I don’t think of these kids sexually but it’s like I have the power to?And that freaks me out so much and it won’t leave me alone I don’t know what to do I know I’m not one but my mind is tricking me and it’s freaking me out and if my mind says it could be what if other people think I am no one I trust will even understand idk what to do I just needed to put this somewhere to vent
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