Pocd trigger Trying to quit my babysitting job is proving a lot harder than I thought it would be. No one is understanding and I’m not about to be like “ITS BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO MOLEST THE KIDS” cause then people would really be like wtf... so I say it’s my ocd and they’re like so what? The kids make you too anxious? Nahh you don’t understand it’s not the kids it’s that I have thoughts about molesting them and id rather not. High key fuck this shit I don’t even know what to do anymore and these parents aren’t trying to make it easy for me to quit

I need for people to stop telling me I can do it because I already know I can’t. Not right now. Not until I get back on meds I’m one step away from driving my car off the bridge And okay. I’m around kids ALL THE TIME and yes I’m fine. But this is a whole another level I’m not mentally prepared for. This isn’t avoidance, I’m trying to save my fucking life here

@amazinggirl that’s rough. I’m sorry too, I’m just really frustrated with this whole situation I don’t want to quit my job. I’m over here making calls again to see if I can get in to see anyone

I have seen some of the other posts. You’re a trooper. Seems like it’s not quite avoidance if you’ve put some time into it. But I gotta imagine you’re engaging in mental compulsions like crazy. And ultimately, while exposing yourself to the thing that scares you is good, if it’s too overwhelming to respond skillfully, then it might not be useful at the moment. Hope you don’t stay away from childcare permanently, though. Seems like you have a gift for it and ultimately OCD can’t be a leading factor in major life choices long term. Unsustainable.

And while you def COULD tell them, I wouldn’t. Most people don’t know enough to understand.

I’m also like VERY good at my job so it’s making everything disappointing I don’t wanna quit but I’m off my meds and I can’t get in to see anyone until next month

Can you handle pushing through and sticking with the gig?

if you really want to quit, tell them you’re trying to take better care of yourself and deal with your OCD and this is one step towards that. if they keep pressing, you can say that’s all you’re comfortable discussing right now. health (physical and mental) is personal, it’s rude to push on someone for more details. it’s awesome when people are willing to share more info and help erode stigma, but it’s not required. do whatever you gotta do for you!

@fivel I doubt it man, I’m already having hella anxiety about it and it’s two weeks away @erh460 I’m not comfortable telling them I have OCD at all like I doubt letting them know would help lol Idk if you guys read my other posts about babysitting but basically it’s overnight and it’s going to be two weeks while the parents are on vacay. The kid is 6 so he needs help changing and bathing. And he has anxiety about sleeping alone and wants someone right next to him. I did a trial run of 5 days and it was just the worse, intrusive thoughts times infinity.

Thanks @Fivel. I have a lot to consider

Seems like you’re trying to practice some radical self care. That’s awesome. And re: mental compulsions, I just meant during those overnights. Lion’s den, you know?

Yeah. You’re right tho lol I am doing a lot of mental compulsions and it’s just not a fun time

I work with kids also and I had pocd. I didn’t quit although I wanted to. Do I still get thoughts? Yes but it’s not as terrifying as before. Don’t let ocd win, use it as exposure, show your brain there is nothing to be afraid of

@amazinggirl are you on meds rn? Do you have access to a psychiatrist or therapy? Do you have a good support system? Cause I sure don’t at the moment

My apologies. I’m not on meds or seeing a psychiatrist. No one knows what I’m going through

@horchata_ what about telling them you’re studying for something instead then? like school if you’re in it or the GRE/GMAT/LSAT if not? you could also say you’ve gotten more hours at your other job and won’t be able to help out anymore.