horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
I need for people to stop telling me I can do it because I already know I can’t. Not right now. Not until I get back on meds I’m one step away from driving my car off the bridge And okay. I’m around kids ALL THE TIME and yes I’m fine. But this is a whole another level I’m not mentally prepared for. This isn’t avoidance, I’m trying to save my fucking life here
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
@amazinggirl that’s rough. I’m sorry too, I’m just really frustrated with this whole situation I don’t want to quit my job. I’m over here making calls again to see if I can get in to see anyone
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y
I have seen some of the other posts. You’re a trooper. Seems like it’s not quite avoidance if you’ve put some time into it. But I gotta imagine you’re engaging in mental compulsions like crazy. And ultimately, while exposing yourself to the thing that scares you is good, if it’s too overwhelming to respond skillfully, then it might not be useful at the moment. Hope you don’t stay away from childcare permanently, though. Seems like you have a gift for it and ultimately OCD can’t be a leading factor in major life choices long term. Unsustainable.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y
And while you def COULD tell them, I wouldn’t. Most people don’t know enough to understand.
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m also like VERY good at my job so it’s making everything disappointing I don’t wanna quit but I’m off my meds and I can’t get in to see anyone until next month
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y
Can you handle pushing through and sticking with the gig?
erh460erh460
- Date posted
- 6y
if you really want to quit, tell them you’re trying to take better care of yourself and deal with your OCD and this is one step towards that. if they keep pressing, you can say that’s all you’re comfortable discussing right now. health (physical and mental) is personal, it’s rude to push on someone for more details. it’s awesome when people are willing to share more info and help erode stigma, but it’s not required. do whatever you gotta do for you!
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
@fivel I doubt it man, I’m already having hella anxiety about it and it’s two weeks away @erh460 I’m not comfortable telling them I have OCD at all like I doubt letting them know would help lol Idk if you guys read my other posts about babysitting but basically it’s overnight and it’s going to be two weeks while the parents are on vacay. The kid is 6 so he needs help changing and bathing. And he has anxiety about sleeping alone and wants someone right next to him. I did a trial run of 5 days and it was just the worse, intrusive thoughts times infinity.
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks @Fivel. I have a lot to consider
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 6y
Seems like you’re trying to practice some radical self care. That’s awesome. And re: mental compulsions, I just meant during those overnights. Lion’s den, you know?
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah. You’re right tho lol I am doing a lot of mental compulsions and it’s just not a fun time
amazinggirlamazinggirl
- Date posted
- 6y
I work with kids also and I had pocd. I didn’t quit although I wanted to. Do I still get thoughts? Yes but it’s not as terrifying as before. Don’t let ocd win, use it as exposure, show your brain there is nothing to be afraid of
horchata_horchata_
- Date posted
- 6y
@amazinggirl are you on meds rn? Do you have access to a psychiatrist or therapy? Do you have a good support system? Cause I sure don’t at the moment
amazinggirlamazinggirl
- Date posted
- 6y
My apologies. I’m not on meds or seeing a psychiatrist. No one knows what I’m going through
erh460erh460
- Date posted
- 6y
@horchata_ what about telling them you’re studying for something instead then? like school if you’re in it or the GRE/GMAT/LSAT if not? you could also say you’ve gotten more hours at your other job and won’t be able to help out anymore.
Related posts
UnknownPersonel
- Date posted
- 21w
Dad with pocd
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
Anonynmous19
- Date posted
- 9w
Pocd 18+
Im at work and work is where my ocd is triggered most. I plugged in the solar panels and remembered my friend whos an electrician. Than i had intrusive thoughts of his daughter and sexual intrusive thoughts. I felt so anxious and am having a hard time breathing. I said a prayer and kept working. Then ocd said was i praying for something inappropriate but thats absurd and not true. Then the intrusivr thought was of female erogenous areas. It was just a thought of a female provate lart. It was like the thought of my friends face then his daughters face then the female erogenous part. So ocd says was the intrusive thought of a adult female erogenous part or a minors. Then ocd says i like adult women so did i like the thought of the female private part. Idk what the thought was it was just a female erogneous part that popped in my head. I know im not a pedophile. I know i dont want ocd thoughts. I know the thoughts made me anxious. Then ocd says if it was a intrusive thought of a small female erogenous part its a pocd intrusive thoughts. If it was a thought of a big female erogenous part it is an adults part. Idk what the thought was tbh now my memorys blurred. I just recall having their faces pop in my head then a thought of a female private part and i remember being super anxious panicking and having a hard time breathing from the anxiety. I know this is indication its ocd and anxiety. I dont like these thoughts and dont want them. Im not a pedophile. Im terrified by the thoughts and i know my anxious reaction disproves the ocd intrusive thoughts and doubts. I know who i am. Im a faithful husband and not a pedophile. I dont want these thoughts it’s distracting me from work as im ruminating and writing this. I feel like crying. I dont want sexual intrusive thoughts. I dont want pocd thoughts. Help!
Givenup
- Date posted
- 6w
Pocd and youtubers
Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...
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