it really feels like bi or lesbian because i only notice girls when i go out and i get so nauseous i just wanna be the old me i want to be able to love my boyfriend:(

You are currently hyper focused, which is very common with ocd. Try focusing the same way on your hand and you will feel pain. It is completely normal to notice things you obsess over more than other things because they cause an immediate reaction. This reveals nothing about you, really. The first thought you get when you see or think something is not under your control, but your reaction is. Work on that.