Just woke up with a HOCD dream in the dream i hated it and ran away and in the dream i didn't do anything but definitely disturbing. I had a dream about my client. First not my fault for having this damn dream, second I didn't control this or want this, third cant let this dream run my life.

I know people say ocd can manifest in your dreams. I had a semi sexual dream, in that there was a naked woman and I enjoyed the dream so surely that can't be ocd. Idk this shit is annoying.

When I woke up today I got intense feelings of arousal and urges to masturbate and thoughts of this 12 year old kid I’ve seen irl started popping up, idk why it all happened, I can’t tell if I liked it or not. Or if I wanted it or not.

i have had intense thoughts and fears about being gay today and i have been sick to my stomach. it just stopped and now im scared im accepting it and im not freaking out. i feel like im okay with it. I AM NOT OKAY WITH BEING GAY.