I think what you are currently experiencing is depersonalization/derealization--it happens when you're in situations of prolonged anxiety and trauma, its very common with ocd. I experience it all the time! Do yourself a favor and give yourself a break, your inner voice is clouded right now by the layers of ocd and your senses are dulled by the dp/dr. Feeling like its not ocd anymore is a very ocd thing to say...:) don't take as reassurance, but its super common to feel denial with any of these subtypes. Lean into the denial and practice ERP to it so you're not as afraid of the possibility I have been in your exact shoes with two relationships. The numbness and questioning. It is not normal for neurotypical people but it is OUR normal as people with ocd, so give yourself some compassion 😊.
Thank you. I just feel lost and confused while simultaneously feeling nothing. Definitely don’t feel like myself. I don’t know how to give myself a break honestly I’m not very good at that
@cozycat I know exactly how you feel. I'd get thoughts of "you don't love him, you never did! You're using him. Remember when he did blahblahblah?" Its the ocd attacking something that makes you happy, ocd doesnt like it when you're happy and confident because it thrives off of insecurity. Your ocd is probably telling you to distance yourself from him. I think you should do the opposite and spend some quality time with him and stay in the present moment :)
@alexisrae1999 Yes! It’s telling me I don’t want to touch him or be near him so of course it feels that way. Or maybe I feel that way and there’s the thoughts idk but yes
@cozycat Do the opposite of what its telling you and show your ocd you don't care!
@alexisrae1999 Even if it’s more of a feeling than a thought?
@cozycat There's such thing as intrusive feelings too. Normally they are triggered by an intrusive thought or act as kind of an automated response if you've been dealing with a certain theme for a long time
@alexisrae1999 Oh okay got it! So they can kinda be seen/serve as intrusive thoughts when you’ve been in a spiral for a long time?
@cozycat I'd say yes because when you get the feeling, you're probably associating the feeling with a scary intrusive thought that you want to get rid of :)
@alexisrae1999 - Wow thank you Alexis, I'm currently going through this. My boyfriend is the best and I truly have no complaints, I believe we are truly made for each other and never doubt my relationship with him until I got OCD a little over 2 months ago. I felt okay the last few days but I started questioning myself again and I feel very convinced I didn't love him anymore but I know if we were to break up with be devastated. I love that you said "OCD doesn't like you to be happy"
@Emilyecvrg Thats what the ocd does lol, it attacks what you value the most in your life. And since ocd is quite literally in your brain, it knows your way of thinking. That's why there's no using logic against the ocd...its an illogical illness that makes no sense 😂. Erp is the only way to go, and of course moving forward with your life despite the ocd:)
I just had a really bad episode tonight over exactly what you said. Im going through the same exact thing.
It’s so stressful