- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I think what you are currently experiencing is depersonalization/derealization--it happens when you're in situations of prolonged anxiety and trauma, its very common with ocd. I experience it all the time! Do yourself a favor and give yourself a break, your inner voice is clouded right now by the layers of ocd and your senses are dulled by the dp/dr. Feeling like its not ocd anymore is a very ocd thing to say...:) don't take as reassurance, but its super common to feel denial with any of these subtypes. Lean into the denial and practice ERP to it so you're not as afraid of the possibility I have been in your exact shoes with two relationships. The numbness and questioning. It is not normal for neurotypical people but it is OUR normal as people with ocd, so give yourself some compassion š.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you. I just feel lost and confused while simultaneously feeling nothing. Definitely donāt feel like myself. I donāt know how to give myself a break honestly Iām not very good at that
- Date posted
- 4y
@cozycat I know exactly how you feel. I'd get thoughts of "you don't love him, you never did! You're using him. Remember when he did blahblahblah?" Its the ocd attacking something that makes you happy, ocd doesnt like it when you're happy and confident because it thrives off of insecurity. Your ocd is probably telling you to distance yourself from him. I think you should do the opposite and spend some quality time with him and stay in the present moment :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@alexisrae1999 Yes! Itās telling me I donāt want to touch him or be near him so of course it feels that way. Or maybe I feel that way and thereās the thoughts idk but yes
- Date posted
- 4y
@cozycat Do the opposite of what its telling you and show your ocd you don't care!
- Date posted
- 4y
@alexisrae1999 Even if itās more of a feeling than a thought?
- Date posted
- 4y
@cozycat There's such thing as intrusive feelings too. Normally they are triggered by an intrusive thought or act as kind of an automated response if you've been dealing with a certain theme for a long time
- Date posted
- 4y
@alexisrae1999 Oh okay got it! So they can kinda be seen/serve as intrusive thoughts when youāve been in a spiral for a long time?
- Date posted
- 4y
@cozycat I'd say yes because when you get the feeling, you're probably associating the feeling with a scary intrusive thought that you want to get rid of :)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@alexisrae1999 - Wow thank you Alexis, I'm currently going through this. My boyfriend is the best and I truly have no complaints, I believe we are truly made for each other and never doubt my relationship with him until I got OCD a little over 2 months ago. I felt okay the last few days but I started questioning myself again and I feel very convinced I didn't love him anymore but I know if we were to break up with be devastated. I love that you said "OCD doesn't like you to be happy"
- Date posted
- 3y
@Emilyecvrg Thats what the ocd does lol, it attacks what you value the most in your life. And since ocd is quite literally in your brain, it knows your way of thinking. That's why there's no using logic against the ocd...its an illogical illness that makes no sense š. Erp is the only way to go, and of course moving forward with your life despite the ocd:)
- Date posted
- 4y
I just had a really bad episode tonight over exactly what you said. Im going through the same exact thing.
- Date posted
- 4y
Itās so stressful
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Iām really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldnāt try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but Iāve been having feelings of like Iām not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I havenāt felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how Iāve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I donāt want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like Iām really scared itās that itās I donāt love him cause I donāt want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like Iām not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now Iām freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I donāt love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I donāt care at all and this has happened but like worst itās ever been and then other times Iām like I do care I do still feel. Iām just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? šš
- Date posted
- 15w
I believe I have ROCD ā at least, thatās what many people here have told me based on what Iāve shared ā and I really need help, because I feel like Iām falling apart. I donāt know what I feel anymore. I donāt know whatās real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements ā not questions. They say things like: āNothing is the same.ā āYou donāt love him.ā āYouāre just staying because youāre used to him.ā And even though I know Iām supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them ā I canāt. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says ālove isnāt just a feelingā ā and I know that. But⦠I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. Itās been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is ā it all feels true. Sometimes I think: āWhat if Iām just denying the truth?ā āWhat if Iāve finally realized that I donāt love him, and I just donāt want to admit it?ā This feels like the worst version of myself. Iām so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didnāt help ā my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I donāt know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD ā if thatās what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I donāt want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just āexcited ā to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 15w
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? Iām really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now itās like i am just analyzing and I donāt have feelings and Iām irritated because thereās things that frustrate me about him that I donāt like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just arenāt right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up donāt like itās really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but itās like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldnāt feel like this or I would but Iād be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I donāt feel or even know whatās real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if Iām thinking right. Itās also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you donāt feel this cause itās wrong. And itās depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. Iām supposed to see him soon and itās like I want to but also donāt because I feel like things have changed unless thatās just something I made in my head and cause I donāt feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and itās so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because Iām fogged but it feels like Iām not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like Iāve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but Iām scared itās not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
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