- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I truly feel you with this one. Something I did when I was quite young haunts me to this day and it kickstarted my pocd and worsened my other types of ocd. Although I rationally feel like I have moved past the terrible guilt, my mind still cannot let go all these years later. I know it is hard but hang in there and know that you are not alone. After feeling overwhelming guilt, I tried to read stories of people who forgave themselves for past mistakes and I was surprised how many of them deeply regret something they did as children and how it is eating them up. Your brain was not yet fully developed and you had yet to figure out what right and wrong was in some respects, this doesnt make you disgusting and there will be so many chances to do good in the future. Good luck :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you it actually made me feel better, I know I'm a good person and when you're a child you do some stupid shit. I didn't know it's a bad thing to do back then and I wish I could go back, but that's life. I'm just scared that people would find me disgusting and weird. I feel like i have to tell someone what I did, I need someone's opinion... oh God.
- Date posted
- 3y
i get it… i did something when i was 19 that i regret quite a bit…. no one was hurt or anything but it’s not something i should have done. i don’t let it reflect who i am as a person but it definitely contributes to me thinking i’m awful. i regret it and would never allow it to happen again but it still happened and that sucks. so i get it. and it was only a year ago… ahhhh i hate myself. but i’m trying to move on. my biggest issue now is fearing i ACTUALLY am attracted to little girls. that sucks so much… i wish this never happened….
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for sharing... I support you and I'll try to calm down a bit I feel like what I did is a big deal and so so bad but also some of me thinks that it's nothing serious seens no one knows and I didn't hurt anyone I hate to feel like that and I hope you'll get through it too
- Date posted
- 3y
We can talk if u would luke. I have the same thing from when I could’ve been either 12,13,14,or 15.
- Date posted
- 3y
It would be nice, but I hope you won't get disgusted
- Date posted
- 3y
@bluesapphire I won’t! Here’s my snap- madelynn.stark
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous321 Oh I don't have a snap :^( insta?
- Date posted
- 3y
@bluesapphire I don’t have one :( what about numbers?
- Date posted
- 3y
@bluesapphire I got an insta if u want it
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Getting eaten alive by thoughts right now, when I was a child me and other kids around my age would experiment and do things we shouldn’t have, I’m talking very young, like 3-5 as I got older I was for whatever reason always curious to a horrible extent and it lead me to do in appropriate things to kids around me, I was 7-8 at the time. I would say it happened 3 times in total in my childhood. And i eventually told my parents the last time it happened because even though I didn’t know it at the time. I had ocd. And I knew it was bad. That was when it all started. I feel absolutely disgusted with my 7 year old self and it comes up every once in a while especially when I hear anything about sexual abuse. I’m nearly 20 now and I enjoy my life for the most part and I’ve been down the ocd path before but I feel unforgivable. And I never want to tell anyone about it, but my ocd seems to want that. I have a beautiful girlfriend that had some traumatic things happen to her and I love her with my soul. I don’t ever want that to come up. Because that’s not who I am. When will I be able to forgive myself? If at all I hope I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do
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- Date posted
- 16w
I think I know what honestly is what caused my OCD. I’ve never told anyone this but I have to if I want help. When I was either 10 or 11, I think 10 I was at my family’s thanksgiving dinner. Around this time I discovered porn and got addicted. I would watch porn and read erotica. Because of this I guess I wanted to experiment. I feel absolutely horrible just thinking about this but I was playing around with my little cousin, he was around 7 I think and I remember we were playing chase or hide and seek, and I grabbed him and hugged him (something I never done before), and got a boner. I did this for pleasure. That’s all I did that was sexual but I feel so horrible. I try to give myself grace as I was only 10 and didn’t know the consequences of something so disgusting. I keep thinking “what if I went farther and hurt him?”. I talk to him sometimes and he seems comfortable with me and I think he doesn’t even remember this ever happened and just thought I hugged him for some reason all those years ago. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I think this incident and remembering it when I was 14 has caused my OCD such as POCD for all these years. I am 18 now but I feel absolutely horrible. And now it’s even worse because I have been invited to his 15th birthday party in Mexico. I’m traveling all the way to another country just to be near him! Obviously I know I won’t touch him or be innopropriate with him. But what if he has felt uncomfortable with me all this time? He seems fine with me and not uncomfortable around me but still. If I feel as if I go to this trip, I am a horrible person. I don’t know what to do. Am I a horrible person for what I did and continuing to be around him? I remember reading Reddit and Quora stories of similar people who felt horrible and people told them to not feel bad as they were only children and they learned and now know that was wrong and that to not tell anyone as it could only make things extremely awkward.Please help. I know COCSA is a very serious topic that harms people and I feel like a horrible perpetrator now.
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