Yesterday was really bad, had an awful panic attack, tried to confess, ruminated all day, and then I decided, I cannot do this anymore. I cannot continue to torture myself like this. I don’t care if I’m bad, a cheater, a liar, whatever. I want my life back. So today, I caught myself starting to ruminating 4x and made myself stop. I feel somewhat better. I’m going to do this everyday until I absolutely fucking love my life again.