please reply, what is an intrusive urge in pocd?

I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?

I am struggling right now with intrusive harm urges. They feel real and it feels like I am going to act any second. It feels like I have to hold myself back, which is a scary thoughts. I am trying so hard not to compulse, but does anyone have tips on what they do in these situations?

I’ve been dealing with POCD for months and fake arousal is the worse, especially now it’s changed to when I’m scrolling on an app, etc and happen to come across a child, my Pocd makes me have fake arousal as usually I do a compultion such as trying to stop the arousal from happening such as tending my body, etc. however, recently I’ve enjoyed the fake arousal and wanted it to happen because it feels “nice” and in the moment I “want” the fake arousal over the “child” and in the moment I feel “attracted to the child but after this I’m met with guilt and so so many compultions such as showing, washing my bedding etc etc CAN OCD MAKE YOUT BODY ENJOY SOMETHING!!? Please help!!!