anyone else feel like making new friends is really hard with soocd? I get intrusive thoughts anytime I talk to any of my female friends, it can be really hard sometimes

I have that too, especially with new female aquaintances. Makes me think I must be homophobic and mysogyn and I become even more ashamed... I don't experience it so much with females that I have been friends with before SOOCD, which is a comfort. But I do obsess over whether I might have had a crush on a female friend of mine a several years ago. It's odd because right now in the present we are still friends and I am sure that I don't have any romantic feelings for her and like her as a friend but I am so worried that it might have been different in the past. This disorder never gives you any rest, never letting you be present, making you obsess about the past or the future and what might be or might have been, but never what actually IS, it's exhausting