- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m bi with SOOCD. For years I struggled with HOCD and deathly afraid I was gay. Then I came out as gay even tho I knew it wasn’t a good fit. I thought switching it up would stop the sex themed intrusive thoughts. Lol nope it just pivoted. So now I choose to be bi and I’m so comfortable with myself on one hands, and on the other I wildly oscillate between no your gay no your straight, gaslighting myself the entire time. It’s whack.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel for you. It's so rough. I have been identifying as bisexual since years before I developed soocd theme. I confidently identified as bi when I met my boyfriend and the soocd didn't start until a couple years into our relationship. It latched onto the fear that I don't like men at all and am just a lesbian. So I relate to your struggle. I'm sorry we both go through this
- Date posted
- 3y
gahhh so frustrating! i have similar thoughts /:
- Date posted
- 3y
ahaha same (: i actually got frustrated enough one night that i googled it & got results back abt “bi-cycle” how punny. it’s basically in reference to this constant cycle of knowing i’m bi, then doubting myself & thinking i’m gay, then doubting myself again & thinking i’m straight, & just perpetually moving through life in this cycle hahaha
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to be on reddit constantly reading stuff about bi cycles and preferences etc.! Before I realized I was compulsively doing so. But knowing about it in general, that preferences shift and change for bi people helped me to normalize the complexity of being bisexual. However, doesn't make it any less scary when you have soocd... 😅🤣
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whatabtme yessss haha reddit is a rabbit hole that i need to stop falling down 😬 i totally agree with the fluidity of being bi, i think it’s just one of those things that i know logically, but irrational thoughts make their way into my head anyway
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whatabtme Tbh I had no idea other ppl struggled with this until like a week ago. It feels so good to know I’m not alone
- Date posted
- 3y
@bellennia Sameeee and ocd especially backdoor spikes can make it feel so real, the loss of attraction sensation, just makes it like a mindfuck
- Date posted
- 3y
i struggle with this as well. am i faking it? i must be straight. no, i actually am not into guys, so i am definitely gay. but i have feelings for both… and then it’s this whirlwind in my mind 😂 a little off topic but in terms of OCD and ruminating not only do my intrusive thoughts consist of questioning my identity, but also question my validity of being mentally ill. borderline especially. it’s funny how our brains work. ocd is like a little gremlin living in there causing chaos
- Date posted
- 3y
I identify as straight with so-ocd. Its hard enough for me...but I can't imagine how confusing this must be for y'all to have to basically go through three different things here. I hope you guys are doing your ERP and taking care of yourselves 💛
- Date posted
- 3y
Welcome to the club lol
- Date posted
- 3y
Hahah I love that image My therapist always emphasis that sexuality can be fluid and change. Which is true. But this isn’t the lazy river it’s the wave pool lol
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Has anyone experienced their reputation affected or misunderstood because of a societally taboo OCD theme? Others catching wind of your obsessions and misinterpreting it, assuming the worst? I’m intentionally keeping it vague because I don’t want my specific situation to get reassured, but it’s been a real tough pill to swallow knowing that people close to me (and anyone else they might talk to) think of me differently. I’m unwilling to share about my OCD because I feel pretty confident it will be taken as an excuse or denial, and feels compulsive and reassurance seeking. Let me know if anyone here has experienced anything like it, how they handled it, exposures you did.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 14w
OCD can be an incredibly lonely experience, especially when people around you don’t understand the thoughts and fears you’re facing. But you’re not alone—others have been there too. What’s something about OCD that makes you feel isolated or alone?
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- BIPOC with OCD
- Contamination OCD
- POCD
- Parents of OCD kids
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- Harm OCD
- Date posted
- 6w
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
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