So this is really important to me i hope some of you will answer. The love of my life and i stopped talking about a year or so from today. It has not been easy for me and i was in a dark place for some time. The point of this post though, is to talk about something we both discussed, and that was writing/creating something together. When we were discussing this i can’t remember exactly what we said, but we had called things off romantically with each-other before that point and i think we were talking about how uncomfortable we felt at the idea of using our experiences to create stories (Much like some song writers do about break ups). LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR I IN NO WAY WANT TO WRITE ABOUT MYSELF AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE TO MAKE A/ANOTHER STORY THAT I CAN PUT MY NAME ON. I just feel scared to try and write anymore because I’m afraid i may use him, his story, our story, my story, his experience or my experience in some way shape or form. I know that a lot of us who create use our experiences in a small way to help us make our stories but I’m afraid that ill just end up trying to profit from our history or the experiences we had, and publicize it if that makes sense? Like would it be right to use my experience even a little? Would it be right to use our experiences even a little? Would it be right to use his? I feel so gross typing that. I feel disgusted even writing that ugh. Like not actual instances that happened by just feelings and such or more open-ended things? Like not a word for word on us at all just a different character and maybe a completely different world where i use certain feelings or thoughts not for the entirety of the piece but for certain parts? I cannot tell if this is ocd or me respecting/ trying to respect him but I’m so afraid i will subconsciously/unconsciously just write about stuff like his/mine/our experiences with each-other or the experiences we’ve had as people apart from each-other, before we met each-other, or after we’ve met each-other.

18+ people with this thread please. I just want some advice from people who have experienced this. Its been almost 2 years since my real event and i can confidently say that i feel a bit better about that and my thoughts. (We still have bad moments but we recover.) but, ever since then and before, i feel nasty and gross whenever i engage or interact with adult content. Like this nasty guilt or feeling like i cant interact with it because then my ocd says “this proves that your thoughts are true and your perverse” and after i always feel empty and disgusting. Besides things like that, i read adult fan fiction sometimes or even write stories for my original characters. And yesterday i shared these stories with a close in person friend of mine. (Were both in college) and they were fine about it we laughed about it but then after i felt guilty-my brain was telling me “you traumatized her she just doesn’t wanna tell you” obliviously this isn’t true but im having a hard time believing it and this morning i woke up with a deep dread that i hurt a friend and im horrible. I can say that they’re more positive about these things then me and i think thats why we got into the conversation and i felt comfortable to share these stories but i just can’t get over it. I have a strong urge to ask for reassurance but i know it wont help. I literally have no one else to talk to about this. Ive spoken to my therapist about this guilt with adult content and we have yet to expand on it especially how it goes hand in hand with my asexuality. My therapist tells me its human to feel things like this and its ok to perform self care like that and again-im a human person its usually normal for 19 year olds to be like this especially for someone my age but i dont feel normal. I feel nasty. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you confront this guilt and how did you feel comfortable again interacting with these feelings and actions again? I dont really have a desire to do s*xual things often (im on the asexual spectrum) but when i do i dont want to feel like this. Especially when my ocd types effect it. Advice is needed and appreciated thank you for your help.

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.

I'm going to film school and starting to write horror movies. My obsession is that I'm scared of being a bad person of making my characters becoming a predator on younger characters. But that's also horror like...? I obviously won't make them like a literal baby. But I have this horror idea and I just feel bad. Idk how I'm gonna write this shit without having OCD. For example junji ito collection tomine is somewhat of a predator and the ice cream man. And they're both really good horror stories!! even Pennywise!! And people love Pennywise?!! Any advice for Creating horror with OCD themes like pocd and such?