So this is really important to me i hope some of you will answer. The love of my life and i stopped talking about a year or so from today. It has not been easy for me and i was in a dark place for some time. The point of this post though, is to talk about something we both discussed, and that was writing/creating something together. When we were discussing this i can’t remember exactly what we said, but we had called things off romantically with each-other before that point and i think we were talking about how uncomfortable we felt at the idea of using our experiences to create stories (Much like some song writers do about break ups). LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR I IN NO WAY WANT TO WRITE ABOUT MYSELF AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE TO MAKE A/ANOTHER STORY THAT I CAN PUT MY NAME ON. I just feel scared to try and write anymore because I’m afraid i may use him, his story, our story, my story, his experience or my experience in some way shape or form. I know that a lot of us who create use our experiences in a small way to help us make our stories but I’m afraid that ill just end up trying to profit from our history or the experiences we had, and publicize it if that makes sense? Like would it be right to use my experience even a little? Would it be right to use our experiences even a little? Would it be right to use his? I feel so gross typing that. I feel disgusted even writing that ugh. Like not actual instances that happened by just feelings and such or more open-ended things? Like not a word for word on us at all just a different character and maybe a completely different world where i use certain feelings or thoughts not for the entirety of the piece but for certain parts? I cannot tell if this is ocd or me respecting/ trying to respect him but I’m so afraid i will subconsciously/unconsciously just write about stuff like his/mine/our experiences with each-other or the experiences we’ve had as people apart from each-other, before we met each-other, or after we’ve met each-other.

"Pure" OCD

ceruleansea

Date posted: 4y

I'm a professional writer with six published books, and I think it's okay if you use your experience. Writing a memoir would be fair game, and so would getting creative and using some elements of your relationship in fiction. Your experience is yours to use as you please.

Coul.C

Date posted: 4y

Woooow congratulations on your six published books thats amazing! I would love to learn more about your experience in the world of writing possibly. I just feel kinda guilty though, like I’m stealing. In your opinion using our history or even things he’s told me about his life (I wouldn’t actually put them in writing for verbatim. Just ideas to help me write how characters are thinking or feeling in certain instances ) would be ok?

ceruleansea

Date posted: 4y

I think that's fine. If you're worried about legal issues, it's standard to put a line in the front of books saying "all resemblance to real people is coincidental" to prevent lawsuits. And thank you :)

Coul.C

Date posted: 4y

Thank you for your input it is greatly appreciated. I just have a quick question about the publishing process. How do you find a publisher once you feel ready to share your work with the world? If you dont mind me asking, im just curious about that process

ceruleansea

Date posted: 4y

If you want to publish the traditional way, a book called Writer's Market is a good place to start. To get published with one of the big five houses or an imprint of them, you will probably need a literary agent. This is a long process involving queries letters and layers of revisions. A lot of people prefer indie publishing, where you publish the book yourself, often through Amazon's KDP. You pay for your own editing, cover, etc. but also keep all of the profits. You might get 20% of trad pub profits tops. Feel free to respond with questions.

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