I'm not looking for reassurance I just want to ask a question. I've been feeling numb and a lack of energy but I dont think it's the thoughts. Could ocd snowball into a sort of depression?

Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!

I’m trying so hard to feel normal again but i cant i keep feeling like im being dramatic and that my symptoms aren’t real and im tricking everyone, even on here i feel like im tricking you all into believing i have OCD when i don’t. Plus all these other types thoughts im having all meshing together its so overwhelming and i dont know what to do. My therapist appointment isnt until next week and idek what shes gonna tell me or if she’ll even think i have OCD. i keep thinking about my other posts on here and wondering if i even meant what i said in them. this is the worst ive ever felt i think i might even be going through depersonalization or derealization but im not even sure about that i dont even know anything about what im really going through cause ive never been given any kind of formal diagnosis its only ever been depression and social anxiety but ive always had a feeling it was more but i keep doubting myself. maybe if anyone wants to look at some of my other posts and tell me what u think in general? or would that be reassurance seeking? i feel like most of my posts might be but im not sure.. IM NOT SURE ABOUT ANYTHING! this is so annoying

i’ve been dealing with OCD for years. my biggest theme being POCD. i have dealt with the anxiety aspect of it all but i think i now have a dysregulated nervous system that normal somatic grounding exercises cannot fix. i also experience only depression. it’s like i still have the POCD + intrusive thoughts. I try not to engage with them, but I’m still depressed but don’t experience much anxiety. should I go on medication? Is it more than just OCD now?