will i even be able to overcome this soocd

I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless

My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me

will i ever be free or is this all there is for the rest of my life