Has anyone with hocd ever felt nothing (almost like an out of body experience) when kissing someone they thought they liked? I had never felt this way about a guy before and then when he kissed me today i just felt nothing. Like it wasnt me there. And i didnt have a panicked feeling either or anxiety really, all i was thinking was “you dont feel anything” all the time. It feels like i must be in denial. I dont know what to do, things were going so well and I genuinely thought i liked the guy so much but how could i if i felt nothing?

Is anyone here going throughbSOOCD while being in a relationship? If yes, do you feel like “something is missing” even tho everything is great? My OCD keeps on telling me “you’re settling” or “yeah you’re happy with what you have but its nothing compared to what you would be feeling if you were with a girl, but you’re with your bf for society!” Im soo tired!! When I look at him I find him so attractive and handsome but i dont know if im attracted to him or if he’s just attractive!! And while growing up I was never “pulled by guys” but I thought that everyone was this way! I also used to look at girls because I found them Beautiful but I thought that everyone used to look at them this way! I think what truly bothering me is “comphet” and the “lesbian masterdoc”. Like I feel like I can relate to some points! Yes I used to choosw my crushes growing up but it felt like everyone used to do the same thing! As for my current bf, we started out as friend and then it turned into something else but now im scared I just agreed to being his gf because “that’s what I had to do” and im scared that he’s my “beard”. I particularly got triggered yesterday because my friends were talking about their celebrities crush and I couldnt think about anyone without forcing it! Instead I could easily think about kristen stewart or someone with the same vibe. All of this + my feelings must mean something no??? I just want to feel “in love” my bf is perfect!

it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before

I’m in such a dark place right now. No matter what I do with my boyfriend — kissing, hugging, cuddling, talking — I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. And every time, my brain says: “That’s it. It’s the truth. You don’t love him anymore.” I keep thinking I’m forcing myself to act like I still like him just because I can’t accept the truth — that maybe I fell out of love and don’t want to admit it. When he calls me beautiful, when he’s kind to me, when he holds me… I feel numb. And that numbness makes me feel like a stranger in my own life. Like I’m faking everything. Like I’m lying to him and to myself. It feels too real. I used to have moments — even during intrusive thoughts — where I would relax in his arms and feel safe and reminded that this is ROCD. But now… even those moments feel gone. Like the thoughts aren’t lies anymore — they feel like the truth. And I don’t know what to do with that. My therapist made things worse. She told me things that made me believe I’ve mentally “decided” I have to be with him, and that I’m wrong for thinking it’s bad to walk away. Now I feel like I’ve built my entire relationship on an idea that I should stay, not that I want to. I feel like I’ve changed. I remember moments of deep love, warmth, and closeness… but now I can’t feel them anymore. And all I hear in my head is “you’re different now. It’s over.” I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I’m not even crying anymore — I’m just… empty. What if this is the truth I’ve been avoiding all along? What if I just can’t accept that I stopped loving him? What if this relationship is no longer right, and I’m just pretending? This is the worst it’s ever been. I’ve never felt this far gone before.