Hi I’m worried I cheated on my bf and don’t remember and have been obsessing about it . I confuse things I’ve done prior to our relationship to during our relationship . I messaged a lot of boys and girls to get help from anxiety and scared I said anything wrong to the boys during that kind . I want to die, this is so stressful I’m terrible.

since one of my biggest fears/events of my reocd happened (not the way i thought it would happen!) i've been healing and understanding a lot of things (like the fact i was the one being abused in my old relationship) but thanks to that my ocd has been trying to launch on a new event and i don't know. i was in a cut and off relationship with my ex three years ago, this happened when i was an older teenager and really confused. during the time i cut off momentary with him i started to get compliments and cute messages in an anonymous confession page and used to post them replying in a playful way or just with genuine curiousity. the thing is, i got with my ex once again in secret for the last time but honestly i'm realizing lately that i didn't love him anymore and being with him made me feel terrible but i wasn't strong enough to leave him once for all. i didn't tell any of my friends about this because they hated him (for a good reason) and i was also disappointed on myself for this. he pushed me a lot make it public and i would say to him a lot of times that i wasn't sure. the thing is, that i still got that type of messages on that anonymous confession page and still publish them on my profile while being with my ex in secret, but eventually i stopped doing that. then i finally left my ex (was horrible). but since what happened to me, i cant stop thinking if that was cheating – it was cheating? i'm not sure anymore and i feel like im going to have a relapse.

TW. hii, ive been dealing with horrible thoughts as of lately. its gotten to a point where as of recently, ive been starting to eat less, sleep more, and cry a whole lot. i dont know whats wrong with me, i have confusing memories. im in a relationship, and as a highschool girl who loves hard since this is my first relationship, ive been having confusing thoughts about whether or not if i found attraction to a boy last year on a cruise. the first time i met this boy, my boyfriend knew about him because i made sure to update my boyfriend on everything. me and the boy were only friends & thats how i thought my intentions were before. but i dont know why now, a whole year later… ive been having confusing, yet convincing thoughts that i found attraction to the boy and i cheated on my boyfriend. everything seems so convincing, yet makes no sense, but i want to know the answer, did i find that boy attractive, and i try to look back into my memory to remember how i felt, but nothing works, i dont know how i felt or feel anymore. i dont know if these are false memories or theyre real memories. how do i know if they are real, concrete memories & how do i genuinely get rid of these thoughts?

Hi everyone. I am really struggling with real event OCD. I thought I worked through this but it keeps attacking me. About 3 years ago and 4 months into my current relationship, I went on a trip abroad. I ended up getting completely wasted and I can only remember some of the night. I remeber the bartender asking to speak with me in the back, and was trying to flirt. I said “I can’t” but we shared a kiss for two seconds I think. My friend then called me multiple times and I left. I am not proud of this at all. I wish more than anything I could erase it. I chose after that event to not tell my boyfriend (now Fíance). I know this was wrong. But I knew I wouldn’t do it again and I did not want to blow it all up over something so stupid. Before meeting my fiancé, I came out of an extremely mentally exhausting relationship with someone who was online cheating on me. I was seeking validation and attention. And I wasn’t in a good place for really the first year of our relationship. Well last year this event randomly popped into mind again. It ate at me and I knew I had to confess to my fiancé. He was understanding, but upset (rightfully so). He said he wasn’t going to leave me but this can’t happen again. We moved past it again and I did my best to be the best partner I could be to him. Well the issue is this event keeps coming up now. I can’t move past it. I feel such shame and guilt and we’re getting married soon. I am really struggling because I can’t remeber every single detail of the night. And my fiancé asked me and I told him everything I remember, but it kills me I’ll never be able to know EVERY detail of what happened since I was browned out. I just want to know if others have faced a similar situation, how did you move through it? I am really struggling and feel like I don’t deserve him. I want this to be a happy time, and he doesn’t even hold it over me. But I can’t stop ruminating on it. It doesn’t help that I look up cheating stories on Reddit and it makes me feel even more awful. Has anyone made a similar mistake? Did I ruin us before we even got married? I am beyond scared to loose the best thing that has ever happened to me. Help :(