Hi I’m worried I cheated on my bf and don’t remember and have been obsessing about it . I confuse things I’ve done prior to our relationship to during our relationship . I messaged a lot of boys and girls to get help from anxiety and scared I said anything wrong to the boys during that kind . I want to die, this is so stressful I’m terrible.

I know a couple of things I did that were screwed up . I had a male online friend and lied he was gay because I was scared my bf would be mad (ex boyfriend trusma induced) and I would send him tik tok videos asking if I looked bad or fat . And one time I said my boobs looked good as an off hand comment. But my bf was fine with it , and forgave me . And wants me to keep talking to the guy because he would help with my anxiety and I had a friend to share things with (I don’t have many of those) how can I contact you btw through this ??

@Emmy56777 Truama* my ex would scream at me if I said hey to another male

Thank you , I have chatted with a lot of people online and been in anxiety groups I’m scared I cheated there even tho I mentioned my bf over a thousend times . I joke sexually sometimes and get scared that’s cheating or try to give guys girl advice/help them etc etc . List goes on . And I’ve never been in a healthy relationship before so it’s hard to know what’s right . And I’m so scared of messing up none internationally . I haven’t left the house since last October . And it’s just been really hard .

@Emmy56777 Your feeling are 100% valid. It’s scary to wonder if you’ve cheated. It’s a scary thought. But that’s all it is.. a THOUGHT. There’s no proof. Tell yourself that maybe you did cheat or maybe you didn’t. Try to sit in that anxiety without ruminating or trying to figure it out. What helped me was telling myself that if I did cheat then I’d take accountability and face the consequences when there is proof. It’s been over a year and still no proof. Check out Ali Greymond on YouTube. She’ll help you find a way out of this. “Ali Greymond cheating ocd” should be a good search. Best of luck my friend. You’re stronger than you think.