i feel like ocd has been affecting my empathy but i cant figure out how. i dont understand if i have low empathy or if ive just become so desensitized to events that would usually cause sadness. i feel guilt, i feel guilty all the time. but i dont understand sadness anymore

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

I’m currently struggling with guilt from checking OCD. By this I mean, I feel guilty and shameful by my OCD checking because I feel as that was immoral and wrong and I really don’t know what to do. How can I fight this?

I posted about this the other day and a therapist responded that if it has the usual ocd tells, then it’s most likely ocd. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. They say even if it’s new for you chances are others have had the same or similar ocd experience. So, this is new for me and just like when I get an intrusive thought i’ve recently been getting what I call intrusive emotions. I will feel something like sad or jealous in a situation when in reality I don’t feel that way at all. For example, my ocd targets certain family members and if one of them is watching tv and thinks a woman is pretty i’ll suddenly feel sad or jealous when I don’t actually care or feel that way because that’s my family member and I don’t think about or feel for them in any inappropriate way. Also, sometimes when I have a harm intrusive thought my ocd will say that I want something horrible to happen to my family member and I will feel like I actually want it but that’s not what I want or how I feel at all. Is there anyone who has had this or something similar happen?