I'm really scared I am a lesbian rn, bc I've never had a celeb crush. NEVER!! not even when I was little, aw man I'm so confused

I am a 21(female). I have only ever kissed one guy and it was horrible and I cried after. I stress about my sexuality constantly. I only want to be straight and know I want to end up with a man, but picturing it stressed me out and I am so scared to kiss a guy I think about it and get so stressed and cry immediately. I have severe intrusive thoughts about kissing everyone my teachers my best friends and it creeps me out and then I go down a rabbit hole of sexual orientation ocd! If anyone has any tips that might help that would be great. Again I don’t want or think I am gay but being so scared to be intimate with a man starts me down a spiral.

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?