- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Just let go. Just let whatever happens happen. Your desire to control the feelings and the experience is making you suffer. This is what OCD is good at. Not allowing you to accept the possibility of something. That’s why you freak out if it feels real, that’s why you freak out when there’s no anxiety, and that’s why you freak out when your recovering. Because your OCD doesn’t want you to live in this new feeling. I promise you this. If you can work on letting go, and accepting the possibility of breaking up with him and not loving him, you will find the peace and healthy relationship you’re looking for. But if you hold on for dear life, ocd will toss you around. It will torment you day after day. So what do you want peace and freedom, and maybe no bf. Or a boyfriend that you can never give full attention to because you are busy being tortured and destroyed by ocd?
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s hard to accept that. I just want to love him idk why this is happening.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@cozycat I know. And I totally understand what you are feeling. Im telling you it’s going to feel crazy, but you gotta jump. You gotta take a leap of faith and accept the idea that you might not love him. Then your OCD brain will have no room to argue with you, and you will find the clarity you are looking for.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sasha It’s so hard. Like it just is throwing me for a loop. I just want to get through this with him not without him
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@cozycat This is why OCD is so fucked up. This is why it’s so hard. Because the only way out of it is by accepting the things you fear the most. It requires you to be really brave. And I know you are. You got on this app. And you’ve been doing such amazing work because of how brave and amazing you are. But now you have to start taking that next step.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sasha I just don’t know how to accept it. Like I don’t know what that even looks like
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@cozycat It’s like if you have two arms, and one arm gets blown off. You are so sad at first because you now have one arm, and you can’t do anything about it. But eventually you go “fuck it, I got one arm, I’ll live my life and still be happy.” It’s this ability to accept something and let go of this desire to “feel” a certain way. Right now you want to “feel” like you love him. But OCD is making you “feel” like you don’t. Accept that feeling and go one step further and accept you might not love him. When you do this you will get triggered. Don’t respond to the trigger, just let the trigger and obsession pass through you. It will be super uncomfortable but the more you let it just pass, the more you will start to feel sane again. I’m telling you this not out of theory or principle only. I’m telling you this because I did it in my relationship and after felt “fine” again. But I had to tell myself that I accept if I’m in a relationship I don’t want to be in, and I’ll just see what happens. But right now you are so stuck in defending your identity and your relationship, that you can’t let go. I’m asking you to just play a game of “I might not love him”. And see what happens.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Something interesting I heard on a thread on here about ROCD was, even if your OCD makes u question ur feeling, u can still choose to stay. Staying is a choice, not a feeling. If that makes sense
- Date posted
- 3y
Something that helped me because I have the same feelings is I imagine what my OCD looks like and then I tell my ocd in my head. ‘Fuck you, you’re just a bully trying to make me believe things that aren’t there and you’re not going to get your way’ it’s a tool my therapist taught me, another thing that helps me A LOT is telling myself a thought is just a thought and keep repeating it
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
- Date posted
- 16w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
- Date posted
- 14w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
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