- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Just let go. Just let whatever happens happen. Your desire to control the feelings and the experience is making you suffer. This is what OCD is good at. Not allowing you to accept the possibility of something. That’s why you freak out if it feels real, that’s why you freak out when there’s no anxiety, and that’s why you freak out when your recovering. Because your OCD doesn’t want you to live in this new feeling. I promise you this. If you can work on letting go, and accepting the possibility of breaking up with him and not loving him, you will find the peace and healthy relationship you’re looking for. But if you hold on for dear life, ocd will toss you around. It will torment you day after day. So what do you want peace and freedom, and maybe no bf. Or a boyfriend that you can never give full attention to because you are busy being tortured and destroyed by ocd?
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s hard to accept that. I just want to love him idk why this is happening.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@cozycat I know. And I totally understand what you are feeling. Im telling you it’s going to feel crazy, but you gotta jump. You gotta take a leap of faith and accept the idea that you might not love him. Then your OCD brain will have no room to argue with you, and you will find the clarity you are looking for.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sasha It’s so hard. Like it just is throwing me for a loop. I just want to get through this with him not without him
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@cozycat This is why OCD is so fucked up. This is why it’s so hard. Because the only way out of it is by accepting the things you fear the most. It requires you to be really brave. And I know you are. You got on this app. And you’ve been doing such amazing work because of how brave and amazing you are. But now you have to start taking that next step.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Sasha I just don’t know how to accept it. Like I don’t know what that even looks like
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@cozycat It’s like if you have two arms, and one arm gets blown off. You are so sad at first because you now have one arm, and you can’t do anything about it. But eventually you go “fuck it, I got one arm, I’ll live my life and still be happy.” It’s this ability to accept something and let go of this desire to “feel” a certain way. Right now you want to “feel” like you love him. But OCD is making you “feel” like you don’t. Accept that feeling and go one step further and accept you might not love him. When you do this you will get triggered. Don’t respond to the trigger, just let the trigger and obsession pass through you. It will be super uncomfortable but the more you let it just pass, the more you will start to feel sane again. I’m telling you this not out of theory or principle only. I’m telling you this because I did it in my relationship and after felt “fine” again. But I had to tell myself that I accept if I’m in a relationship I don’t want to be in, and I’ll just see what happens. But right now you are so stuck in defending your identity and your relationship, that you can’t let go. I’m asking you to just play a game of “I might not love him”. And see what happens.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Something interesting I heard on a thread on here about ROCD was, even if your OCD makes u question ur feeling, u can still choose to stay. Staying is a choice, not a feeling. If that makes sense
- Date posted
- 3y
Something that helped me because I have the same feelings is I imagine what my OCD looks like and then I tell my ocd in my head. ‘Fuck you, you’re just a bully trying to make me believe things that aren’t there and you’re not going to get your way’ it’s a tool my therapist taught me, another thing that helps me A LOT is telling myself a thought is just a thought and keep repeating it
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
- Date posted
- 13w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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