I’m so scared therapy won’t work and i’ll be stuck like this forever….cause apparently therapy & medication only works for 70-80% of patients. Knowing my luck it won’t work for me…. I’m so scared. This is my last resort. I’d rather die than live like this the rest of my life 😭 And i’ve been in therapy for like a month and a half and found no improvement—if anything I’ve been getting worse. The only thing I’ve noticed that I’ve improved on is recognizing the thoughts & being aware of my compulsions. Besides that, the thoughts haven’t improved one bit & i haven’t gotten any of my life back. AND THE FUCKING THIS IS IM SO SAD AND FEEL SO ROBBED OF LIFE CAUSE I HAVE THIS DREAM OF HAVING A HUSBAND AND HOUSE AND KIDS AND BEING A SUCCESSFUL WRITER AND MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER YET MY BRAIN TELLS ME THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT AND I WANNA BE A LESBIAN I CANT WANT ANYTHING CAN I WTF

Hey! I’m really sorry that it’s been hard for you!!! I totally understand. It got worse for me before it got better so maybe that will give you some hope 🥺 it actually happens like that for a lot of people! I remember feeling so anxious and hopeless and I would get these groinal responses that literally lasted the wholeee day. It was terrible. Especially with the thoughts. I was crying every single day. Then I got to a point where I was experiencing a lot less anxiety, groinal responses, and etc. I even felt more confident about my sexuality. But then I got really triggered last week so a lot came back again. But that’s okay. We have OCD and it’s hard thing to live with and it’s going to be a roller coaster. I’m doing better than when I was triggered so that’s still a good thing. I still don’t feel confident in my sexuality but at least I’ve went from what if I’m gay to what if I’m bi (and I have a boyfriend 🥺). So for me that’s improvement. It’s easier but still really hard with all of the intrusive questions. And I obviously want the groinal responses to stop. They are better than before but still. Oh and the intrusive images :/ don’t give up and keep pushing!!! If you ever want to talk just let me know :)

Sometimes it feels like you’re getting worse in the beginning because you’re purposely triggering yourself. Don’t be discouraged! You can do this, give it some time to work. Don’t allow yourself to fall back into seeking reassurance,doing complusions, etc