hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 4y
Whyyocd Whyyocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey! I’m really sorry that it’s been hard for you!!! I totally understand. It got worse for me before it got better so maybe that will give you some hope 🥺 it actually happens like that for a lot of people! I remember feeling so anxious and hopeless and I would get these groinal responses that literally lasted the wholeee day. It was terrible. Especially with the thoughts. I was crying every single day. Then I got to a point where I was experiencing a lot less anxiety, groinal responses, and etc. I even felt more confident about my sexuality. But then I got really triggered last week so a lot came back again. But that’s okay. We have OCD and it’s hard thing to live with and it’s going to be a roller coaster. I’m doing better than when I was triggered so that’s still a good thing. I still don’t feel confident in my sexuality but at least I’ve went from what if I’m gay to what if I’m bi (and I have a boyfriend 🥺). So for me that’s improvement. It’s easier but still really hard with all of the intrusive questions. And I obviously want the groinal responses to stop. They are better than before but still. Oh and the intrusive images :/ don’t give up and keep pushing!!! If you ever want to talk just let me know :)
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 4y
Sometimes it feels like you’re getting worse in the beginning because you’re purposely triggering yourself. Don’t be discouraged! You can do this, give it some time to work. Don’t allow yourself to fall back into seeking reassurance,doing complusions, etc
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avantika 🪻
- Date posted
- 19w
Rant...
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
Imnew@this
- Date posted
- 15w
I can’t take it anymore.
(21+ ONLY PLEASE: TRIGGER WARNING) I’m just so sick of it. I’m letting it win. I’m letting it beat me. I’m losing. I’ve been seeing a therapist but we only meet every two weeks for an hour because of my insurance. I can’t afford any more visits. We’ve been working on ERP but I still feel stuck. Just recently, we went through a drive thru and the kid at the window looked really young. I’m afraid that I found him attractive and I felt a groinal at the thought. I f*cking hate my mind. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m trying but I still feel like it’s not enough. I’ve let my parents down, my friends and my family. Everyone who knows me doesn’t know the thoughts I have and how sick and disgusted I feel with myself.
Cherno
- Date posted
- 11w
ERP not working, been doing it for 8 months
My theme is suicidal OCD. I’ve been doing ERP since last year November and the overall intensity of my thoughts have not reduced at all. I have these thoughts 24/7 and my life feels like a living hell. Not two minutes goes by throughout the day where I’m not suffering from relentless thoughts. I don’t want to take meds because of the side effects and my insurance is coming to an end so it’d be difficult to ween off them by myself. I’m starting to feel so hopeless because I’ve done the toughest of the toughest exposures and I’m not getting better at all. My life is a living hell and I don’t see my condition with OCD getting better anytime sooner.
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