I just feel so lost. I was let go of my job today. Have been trying so hard to be positive but things keep going wrong. It’s so hard to have faith.

It’s been hard. I feel so trapped. I felt okay about a week ago. But these thoughts are really hitting me hard. Especially doubt too. Doubt if God & Jesus loves me because of these awful blasphemous thoughts! Doubts if I’m his child! Doubts if I am saved! I feel like I’m thinking then on purpose but I don’t want these thoughts! They bother me so much! It’s like a tick or Tourette’s in my brain. I also have thoughts switches I’ll say I love god but then it’ll changed to something so evil is gross :( It feels like I don’t have a relationship with God anymore or like I don’t know how to anymore. It makes me sad and stressing me out. I obviously try not to think awful things but the more I try not too the worse they are. I just feel so lost. I was so on fire and felt like my faith for God & Jesus was unstoppable but now I feel like I’m so far or how could he possibly love me anymore. How could I have these thoughts :(

Last week was a lot easier for me. I felt like thoughts didn’t control me and my actions as much as they did earlier. Today was really hard for me and I feel like I’m starting to lose hope again:( I can’t take the thoughts and the feelings that come with them anymore. I feel like I have failed and I’m never going to be happy again.

I’m Christian, and I suddenly had a loss of faith. I’m praying constantly and as anxious and scared that God hasn’t chosen me for this religion, even though I believe in it whole heartedly. My brain is telling me these things, and saying how I would be fit for Islam or something else, even though I am perfectly happy being a Christian. I keep getting intrusive thoughts and feelings about not believing in my religion, and whenever I confess how I do believe, my brain tells me I’m lying or I feel otherwise. It makes me feel guilty and abandoned and alone. I still read my Bible and pray CONSTANTLY. Please help (sorry if this is hard to understand I am ranting)