Does anyone feel like they're two separate people?

So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞

Does anyone feel like they’re fighting a war inside of them? I’ve slowly opened up to people about my past and things that happened ( I never thought I would ) but at times, I value truth and honesty and wanting to be a good person and this is something I just want to let go of because I’ve suffered with the guilt and shame and regret but my mind keeps on dwelling on it and bringing it back. Like I’m a fraud. This implies to all my mistakes that I’ve learned from. I normally tell my mom things but I don’t want to tell her these things. I love her and don’t want to bring shame upon my family or for this to be brought up over and over again. I did stupid things without logically thinking and I have the best mom ever and she trusted me with things when I was younger. I made mistakes with that trust and it makes me upset. I now feel like I’m ideally the “ideal” kid for my family and I wish to stay like that no matter my age. I’ve been trying to mange with my childhood mistakes. The shame and guilt. I’m trying to be a bit more compassionate but there’s always the thought that scares me, what if I was really evil? I used to hate looking at pictures of myself when I was younger but now when I do, I finally realize what they meant by “you aren’t your worst mistake” because I’ve done good and I’ve also screwed up. But I feel like I’m fighting a war with myself because I value justice and truth and so but I don’t even wanna talk about this or bring it up and my mind keeps targeting it and it’s exhausting.

I feel like if I spend time with anyone im always failing everyone else. A lot of people depend on me and want my time. I feel like I can't be enough and it makes me feel like I deserve to be alone. Does anyone ever feel like this?