- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah that’s exactly how I feel, I used to be so excited to try new things with him and now I’m always afraid
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I hear you. It's almost like I've been living inside this ocd cage for so long, always letting ocd tell me what to do, that now that I'm standing up to it and engaging in intimacy anyway, it feels wrong or like I should be worrying right now. It very quickly goes from enjoyable and something I wanted to initiate, to something plagued by ocd thoughts and what ifs and all the stuff that ocd wants you to think.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whatabtme Yup and on top of that I’m 90% sure I have sex anxiety so it’s like some part of me has always feared certain aspects of sex. I’ve made progress and I intimate and I enjoy it but I keep thinking it has to reach somewhere where I forget all about my worries but obviously that doesn’t happen and it hurts me a lot because it makes me feel like I’m hiding some ugly truth. My partner is so amazing and I want to be able to match his excitement in the bedroom but it’s so hard when I feel like a liar. I hate the idea of having sex with a woman or anyone else but him….
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus I hear what you mean and I can relate a lot. I personally am bi not straight but what you say still resonates with me. It's like I can enjoy the physical sensations and initiating at first, but then the fear of intimacy, and the ocd, and sometimes even shame flings arise and make me want to retreat. It's hard to go all the way or move forward to have sex like I used to with him and it's been a huge roadblock for a long time in my ocd recovery journey. Like you said, having those experiences just reinforces the fear of being a fraud and it can be scary. I'm sorry you deal with that as well.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whatabtme I can only imagine that soocd is a million times more difficult being bisexual. I’m sorry we’re both going through this but I hope we find the strength and courage to continue 💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus It's tough cause of all the stuff people say about bisexual women for sure. All the masterdocs and late bloomer stories used to terrify me cause it was a lot of bi women who layer realized they didn't like men at all. It's my biggest fear. But I'm sure it's just as scary for you or anyone else with soocd, regardless of our orientations. I hope we find some strength too! It made me smile and feel less alone that we could relate about this. 🤍Sometimes it feels so lonely to have soocd cause I don't talk to anyone in my life about it except my bf.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Whatabtme Oh yeah there's definitely a lot of biphobia out there and of course there's always the grass is always greener on the other side syndrome. I'm glad I could give you a little bit of hope:) it helps me too and I hope we can get better. I only talk about it to my boyfriend too but I try not to talk about it too much because when I do he does feel a little insecure and that's the last thing I want. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to 💗
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus For sure. I know it's hard for partners of people with ocd but I'm glad you have him to talk to about it! Here if you need someone to talk to as well!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 16w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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