So i have an amazing boyfriend. Hes patient, understanding, and very reassuring. I also have a guy best friend who has been there for me through a lot. I guess i just want to know if this would be considered ROCD? Because i never really knew that was a thing. We did sexual things last night. We have done them before and i havent had intrusive thoughts. But last night i had intrusive thoughts about “what if this was my guy best friend instead” and what if this was his body instead and images of him were popping up in my head. Then the guilt came. Why would i think about him like that? I have to tell my boyfriend. I have to confess. I know this is part of OCD. I know its a compulsion. It’s frustrating because in my last relationship this exact same thought popped up in my mind during sexual things and i told my last bf when it did too. He was understanding and we worked thru things also but then my brain started finding other ‘bad things’ to think of during intimate times with him. I dont want to be thinking about my guy friend. I want to be thinking about my boyfriend. It doesnt help that the world now also questions me constantly the fact i have a platonic relationship with another man. It makes my suspected OCD worse in this specific aspect. I guess i just need advice, or someone to atleast tell me im not the only one who has experienced this. My boyfriend is an amazing man and i feel like hes so understanding but slowly its ruining things and draining him. He wants to help me with my suspected OCD and wants to be there for me but i feel like telling him about my obsessions is just feeding into them. But i dont want him left in the dark either.

Relationship OCD

SunsetAquari...

Date posted: 4y

I’m currently going through the same exact thing and I know exactly how you feel. I hope others comment on this post with helpful tips because I currently need them as well. The only thing I can say is I told my boyfriend all over my thoughts, and I mean ALL. Because I felt so much guilt and shame like I was cheating on him for having the thoughts. He was understanding, but it definitely made him insecure and I understood because it’s really hard for someone to hear that basically your girlfriend doesn’t know if she’s attracted to you and has instructive thoughts when being intimate (even though we both knew it was the ocd). I told him every thought as a compulsion to try to confess and hopefully the thoughts will go away because I confessed. That didn’t work. It just did more damage to my boyfriend. So just try to watch how much you tell your boyfriend and be mindful that you may just be making your ocd worse by doing that.

bruxinha

Date posted: 4y

Im a very honest person and i think my biggest compulsion in life throughout the years has been confessing. I also get the feeling that im a bad person sometimes too like do i want to confess just to hear reassurance because i fear him leaving and want the certainty of knowing he wont leave despite any future bad thoughts i may have. Which makes me feel selfish and cycles a whole different type of OCD haha Such a pain.

SunsetAquari...

Date posted: 4y

@bruxinha Yeah I get it. I felt so guilty that my boyfriend has all this love for me and would never have these horrible thoughts about me and that’s why I felt like I needed to confess every little thing. And now I just wish there were some things I just worked on my own and didn’t have to share with him. Because when you confess it’s telling your brain that that thought made you scared so it will just keep happening and just create another instructive thought. When in reality you need to learn how to sit with your thought and not show fear to it. I hope that all makes sense.

bruxinha

Date posted: 4y

@diane_ It does 100% make sense. I know i have to not give the thought that power. I guess i feel guilty about leaving him in the dark and dont know how to combat that. I explained to him my thoughts are the only thing as a human that i have truly that are my own and i hope he can respect that while i deal with my intrusive thoughts i may not tell all of them to him as that will give them power and make them feel more real. But i want to be with him and love him and that doesnt change at all.

SunsetAquari...

Date posted: 4y

@bruxinha Yes and I think that’s mature and will help you grow and overcome you’re ocd! I wish you all the best🤍

bruxinha

Date posted: 4y

@diane_ Thank you, you too!

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