Hey guys! I am really sad today because I was doing well for a while, but today I feel like everything is creeping back. If you have Harm OCD, could u please tell me if you relate on what I’m about to say? Please! It sucks being around my family and feel like I’m some sort of psycho in waiting to act on my “”victims””. And right now I’m next to my family, and I feel like there’s this possibility that it could happen right now in this very moment, and it makes me feel so disturbed. So I feel like I’m someone with bad intentions that just hasn’t done anything yet. So I feel like I’m just rejecting this possibility to do something. I feel like I’m in denial and it sucks. It really does suck. So all my support to anyone going through something hard.

Hey, I suffer from harm ocd and I feel as if it’s non stop everything I do everyday I believe I killed someone I believe it’s harm ocd and false memory but like today I went to the store and saw a older lady and my head thinks of images of me pushing them or killing then and right after that thought I feel as if I done it then the rest of the day I ruminate replaying everything. I know erp and I should just accept the thought and let it go but it’s not easy and I feel as if i really hurt or killed someone and I don’t want to go to jail for something I don’t want to do . Any tips would be appreciated I don’t know how to accept and move on when it feels so real that I did something!

I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩

Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(