- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
You are not destined to be a pedophile, believe me I get so scared about that too. Then scared that I won’t be scared, then feel like what if I’m not even scared. OCD latches onto your biggest and truest fears. Being good is rewarding. Just be who you know you are & only figure out who you want to be today. Do not sit there & try to imagine your future, even if all feels uncomfortable
- Date posted
- 4y
It just really sucks I have to go though this like before all this I hated pedofiles and wondered why they did the things they did and now it’s my ocd theme 😭 like the irony of it man
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you do erp, are you ever around children? Who you are with children is unlikely to change.
- Date posted
- 4y
Not really like if I see anything involved with kids wherever I go I ignore it or sometimes I’ll try the unexpected exposure but not all the time mostly I’ll avoid , and what do you mean in the last part 😭 bc my abuser started to become attracted to me when I was like 11 or idek what was goin on in his mind if he ever was attracted to me when I was a child
- Date posted
- 4y
@kathernyr I’m just trying to figure out my abusers mind 😭 on what made him a pedo :( But I’m also scared that I’ll be the same as him or even worse
- Date posted
- 4y
@kathernyr Don’t sit there & try to figure out the unknown. OCD has made me try to give it an answer but its never satisfied
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty How do you stop to figure them out when it’s so tempting to 😭
- Date posted
- 4y
@kathernyr pedophiles have less white matter in their brains i believe so instead of the natural nurturing children they have a taboo desire and have an attraction to them . pocd cannot manifest itself into reality, you either are attracted to kids or you aren’t . if you were a pedophile you’d have known this by puberty
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty I don’t mean to sound dumb but what is white matter ?😭😅
- Date posted
- 4y
@kathernyr girl idk it white matter in da brain lol apparently ocd sufferers do not have sufficient grey matter that y we feel like this
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty But the weird thing is that he was only like that with me 😭 or idk maybe he kept to himself on his behavior but ugh it’s just so weird :/ bc he was also my stepfather..
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- 4y
@hunty 😭 lolll
- Date posted
- 4y
@kathernyr pedophiles can be attracted to adults & children, or just children . maybe he had a certain age he liked to prey on, which was yours at 11 but does not make it ok at all. I’m so sorry bbgirl! 💕 it truly hurts me & repulses me that he acted on that, if he were any man at all he could’ve kept his grotesque desires in his mind. now he’s unaware of the psychological damage he’s inflicted on you. all i can advise you on for sure is to quit looking up pedophilic behaviors, I regret looking up pedophiles too because then i overthink and over identify with thoughts.
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty Yeah I told my friend and she said it was like that Lolita movie or something which makes sense and stuff he’s said to me that he thought abt when he first saw me (when I was a child) it wasn’t even doing it was mostly his behavior things he would say, how he would look at me, and just being a creep but he did molest me.. it’s just so much 😭 I want to get help but I’m still afraid and I tried to tell my mom but she doesn’t understand. :( so it doesn’t really convince her that it’s serious
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty Thanks 💕🥲 and I def will stop looking up scary stuff or finding them
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Guys for the past couple of hours ive been spiraling! I wad researching and came across this harm ocd article question that has been worrying me. The title was "im scared of hurting someone when I'm mad. Can i trust myself?" And I was thinking "hey that's what ive been worried about for the past several months!" I even AVOID being angry. Im scared of it bc I get a lot of thoughts and I'm hyperaware of my hands and feel them tingly! Last time i tensed so hard to stay still as possible bc I was so so nervous from my thoughts and my hand twitched which made me SPIRAL. I never want to cause harm! And i always start crying after an argument bc the thoughts are so so scary! Anyway I got afraid bc the article said "research has shown that people with ocd don't struggle with impulse control- so if you find yourself intensely worried you could do harm based on the intrusive thoughts or urges you have, it's likely something else is going on." THAT SENTENCE HAS LEFT ME WITH A TON OF ANXIETY! Its so bad, my appetite is gone! I'm scared does this mean I don't have ocd and should be seriously concerned?!
- Date posted
- 17w
so like i was like researching spirituality and i saw that when spiritual awakening happens you kind of question yourself and your values then i saw a shadow work video and they said if you judge someone its because somewhere deep down youre like them , so im scared what if im a pedo and someone did a tarot reading on me once and i dont really remember the exact words but they mentioned something about how im avoiding the truth or something like that and the first thing that came to my mind was being a pedo and incest and recently ive been ignoring all the thoughts cause i was exhausted from doing so many compulsions then i got scared that if i go to therapy they will just tell me what i want to hear. im so scared
- Date posted
- 11w
so I put this into Gemini a couple mins ago but it just gave me the 988 to text but I feel like I don’t know if these thoughts are genuine or intrusive and just amplified because of how I was feeling. This is what I put in there I’ll just copy and paste. I got talking with my grandma and I felt like I needed to get it out but I just kept thinking deeper and deeper like thoughts like “I can’t do this anymore” or “when will this stop” and I have a lot of suicidal intrusive thoughts and sometimes when I feel in such fear and deep sorrow and dispare these thoughts feel so real that I can’t tell if they’re intrusive. But I immediately push them away of course even though I keep wanting to figure it out or figure out how I can break free from this doubt and second guessing. But it freaked me out that maybe I was actually contemplating or genuinely thinking about it or was close to snapping and giving up. Now I feel like I have to figure out of it was intrusive or not because that’s really serious if it is a real thought. I know it’s apart of ocd to figure it out but I can’t tell if it was my imagination made it seem way more real or when I imagined myself doing something to myself it felt like the probability became higher because I was in a state of severe distress. It’s like a thought when your heart is beating so fast you don’t wish it would stop beating you just want a break from it beating so loud or fast or you want it to get better. Idk I pictured myself just being stuck in my body and it freaked me out too like the fact I cant control what my body is doing. I’ve lost some weight the last couple months bc of stress and it just grosses me out thinking how bad I might be getting. I even started thinking maybe I need to be in a mental hospital. And just admit it and just get more help. The thing is I also felt like I had a decent day today but it took so much out of me trying to resist compulsions and “keeping” the good moment going without extreme fear especially of dying. I get so freaked out by random things even things touching me, certain sounds and wish it could all stop sometimes and I keep running away from things I think are triggers for my anxiety but it feels like it’s getting narrower.
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