I think I focus on my partners flaws way too much. The things that never use to bug me are bugging me now…. I hate it… I am having a hard time believing my feelings are there…. I’ve been even asking myself do I feel love for my mom? Or anyone else just to see if my depression is the cause of this… 😢 I am mentally tired… I just want my life to be happy again…. But it feels like it won’t… Breaking up is all I have been thinking about… I know if I wanted to I would’ve done it. But why is that not a sign I love him…..

thank u omg:((( ik this isnt my thread but this helped me

@cs223 :)

Thank you I read this a lot randomly throughout the day. It helped. I needed this too.

@Mandy7710 Glad it could help. Hoping you feel a little better.

@Sasha A little. I’ve dealt with ROCD for years and never once has it gotten this bad… I am even worried I am in denial at this point. I’ve never had any issues showing love even when not feeling love in the past but now I try and try.. it’s like it’s gone. I know I love my partner I really do and I know we as partners need to fix some issues I wanna be able to do it without leaving him. My partner has his own mental problems too so dealing with his on top of mine makes it stressful. He’s been showing patience with my ROCD. My friend even said this is the worse it’s ever been and that now my partner has become a walking trigger…. I read so many things on Reddit is the one post that scares me… using ROCD as a front… ☹️ I’ve never been able to get that to leave my mind…

@Mandy7710 I’ve been with my partner for 11 years now and been dealing with ROCD for going on 10 years now… can ROCD really do this….? 😞

@Mandy7710 You know the answer. You know there’s a reason why your OCD won’t stop attacking you. You know that you are not fronting something that has effected your mental well being to this extent. Remember this: where there is truth there is peace. There is no peace for you, so your thoughts are obsolete.

@Sasha Even hearing that scares me…. 😢 I don’t wanna lose him but why… even when I know I love him it doesn’t stop… it was so much easier before when I first had this…

@Mandy7710 Sometimes when I catch myself in these periods, I reasses certain things. For example: right now your ocd is forcing you to put so much attention on your relationship. But aren’t there other things in your life that interest you? Isn’t there jobs, hobbies, friends, books, entertainment, learning that is important to you too? Why does every waking minute have to be devoted to your partner? Do you see where I’m going with this. Take the foot of the gas pedal for a minute. You don’t have to solve this right now (you don’t have to solve it ever). The problem is that ocd puts so much attention on your relationship; which in turn makes you forget that your whole life and existence and happiness does not exist just in your relationship with your partner. Hence why in order to get this ocd in check, we have to show ocd that maybe having a good relationship isn’t the only thing on the planet. There’s other things in life. When you do this, you can start to find a little bit of footing. Part ocds grip is that it looks for things that we closely identify or hold dearly in life. Part of strengthening our relationship with life is letting go these ideals; and just accepting what is. We don’t have to have perfect relationships that feel great all the time. We don’t have to have a perfect life to be happy. So start by changing the view of your focus, and then come back to it. Because I guarantee you even if your relationship was on the rocks, ruminating over it isn’t going to solve anything.

@Sasha Your right. I know I love my partner dearly. My brain just won’t give me a break….. no matter if I distract myself or not… I am at work and I am still obsessing. Therapy is probably the one true way to get better again.

This was so helpful. Thank you.

@KristinaNOCD 🙏