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- 3y
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- 3y
And when you do look at males, for reassurance, (again something I personally struggle with) I'm not letting my own mind work. It's my ocd taking over. I'm focusing on making sure I'm attracted to him for being a male. Which sends my mind into a funk and triggers the ocd
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- 3y
yes this too!!!!
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- 3y
I struggle with the same thing. You are not alone I promise you that
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- 3y
It’s just the whole hocd has took a toll on my life I just feel sad and stressed and sometimes I just feel like everyday is deja by cause I can’t get over this and I know I’m not in denial cause I have no attraction or feelings it’s just the thoughts of the dream making me spiral into what ifs and that’s and thank you I’m glad I’m not alone :)
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- 3y
What are some of your Triggers?
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- 3y
So what should I do should I just stop trying to figure out my attraction and let it be or do you think I should get therapy to try help this problem
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- 3y
Depending how often you obsess over it. It took over my life so I'm currently going through treatment with med/therapy.
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- 3y
my therapist made my problem worse. she just freaked me out and i was getting better on my own and then i spiraled again
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- 3y
@miamigirl Finding a therapist and or medication that works for you is always trial and error. Took me atleast 5 different therapist to be able to connect with somebody
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- 3y
Because what happens when I look at a male and I don't think he is attractive? Or maybe not my type? I convince myself it's because I'm gay. It's a horrible cycle:(
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- 3y
yessss!!! this is my issue too. i’m very picky and i like to see guys in person rather than on the internet obviously. but this has been my issue as well. but when all is back to normal that is back to normal as well because i have no doubts
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- 3y
@miamigirl I always had the horrible habit of comparing myself to other females even from toddler age to see what I should look like or act like etc. Then ocd tells me I was attracted to them. Ocd is so confusing :(
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 yes me too!!! and when someone was pretty i always tried to copy them to be even prettier hahah
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- 3y
@miamigirl YES!!! Or being friends with the popular girls!!!! At the time I wanted to dress/act like them for attention from boys in middle school, now I'm like, was it me admiring them???? Or me being attracted???? Ughhhhh!
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 I WAS JUST THINKING OF THAT!! there was this pretty popular girl and i always wanted to be one of them/ be friends with them so i could be noticed by the boys and my ocd is telling me nope u were just attracted to them lmao. and i know that’s not true because i never even thought about that stuff before i had my ocd onset anyways fuck this
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- 3y
I know it’s so confusing like why does it convinces us otherwise why can’t it just go away and what ever we are feeling is okay and it doesn’t always have to be something that needs a label . I kind of obsess about it too much I think if I think too much I’ll completely come off boys but at the same time I have no attraction towards girls so I’m just so confused and I tried everything to try help like books sprays to calm myself talking to my doctor I’m just so afraid a therapist won’t help and i will be stuck in this what ifs spiral forever
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- 3y
i feel you :((( that’s another example of it being ocd because everything needs to be for certain. i don’t even know if i’ll feel better anymore
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- 3y
@miamigirl I’m so glad you feel the same I really thought I was going through some type of denial even though I knew I don’t feel that way for girls but when I started searching online and read an article about hocd and read the comments and hearing people having the same thoughts about having extreme thoughts but not actually wanting g or attraction to girls I felt so relieved . The only problem is I can’t stop the panicking or the stressing it won’t go I feel I panic and cry cause I don’t know what to do
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- 3y
@josie12 look at how many of us are going through the same thing!! all of us think we’re in denial lol
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- 3y
I think its when I’m alone and I started thinking or when I’m in school and I start to panicking not knowing who I am . Sometimes I panic when my leaves because I feel overthinking this whole hocd is confusing my feelings for him I just wanna go back to normal I was happy and never second guessed it myself
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- 3y
how do u know u don’t have feelings for girls? I truly don’t know anymore. I also have hocd but it feels like denial since it feels like I do have feelings for girls. It could be false attraction but its so real. and I have 0 feelings for guys now. It seems like Ive never even liked men. And I get thoughts like “girls are prettier than men” “why would you wanna be straight if you don’t even like men?” “girls are so much better than men” Does it looks like denial? Idek if Im straight anymore. I truly feel lesbian :(
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- 3y
this helps me out because when it’s real u don’t lose feelings for the other gender
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- 3y
@miamigirl wait what? im not sure what u mean. Do u think this sounds like denial?
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- 3y
@strawberry ice cream I think it is different for everyone based on what your mind is focusing/obsessing over. When you are focusing on girls, obsessing over the thought of not being heterosexual, it's normal to loose interest in males because you aren't looking at males. Your brain is telling you to do something else. Atleast that is what I struggle with
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 this is what i meant yes exactly !!
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 and you start looking at women differently, not like usual, it makes me so uncomfortable and it’s like i’m forcing it. it’s like everyone is attractive when i know that’s not possibly true
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- 3y
@miamigirl Yes!!! It's the confusion between trying to decipher whether it's attraction or if I just think a girl is simply pretty.
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- 3y
@miamigirl ohh i relate to this!!
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- 3y
Ya I’m little confused too what do you mean when it’s real u don’t lose feelings
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- 3y
what ocd_sufferer8 said
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- 3y
also i’m scared when my brain calms down to think about absolutely anything. i know ocd will latch onto it and run with it and make me ruminate for hours on end
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 9w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
- Date posted
- 7w
Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I don’t feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why can’t I feel that anymore what has changed what if I don’t wanna be with anymore I’ve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if I’m into girls now I’ve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl I’m like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh she’s pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and I’m like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think
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