- Date posted
- 3y
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- 3y
And when you do look at males, for reassurance, (again something I personally struggle with) I'm not letting my own mind work. It's my ocd taking over. I'm focusing on making sure I'm attracted to him for being a male. Which sends my mind into a funk and triggers the ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
yes this too!!!!
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- 3y
I struggle with the same thing. You are not alone I promise you that
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- 3y
It’s just the whole hocd has took a toll on my life I just feel sad and stressed and sometimes I just feel like everyday is deja by cause I can’t get over this and I know I’m not in denial cause I have no attraction or feelings it’s just the thoughts of the dream making me spiral into what ifs and that’s and thank you I’m glad I’m not alone :)
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- 3y
What are some of your Triggers?
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- 3y
So what should I do should I just stop trying to figure out my attraction and let it be or do you think I should get therapy to try help this problem
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- 3y
Depending how often you obsess over it. It took over my life so I'm currently going through treatment with med/therapy.
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- 3y
my therapist made my problem worse. she just freaked me out and i was getting better on my own and then i spiraled again
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- 3y
@miamigirl Finding a therapist and or medication that works for you is always trial and error. Took me atleast 5 different therapist to be able to connect with somebody
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- 3y
Because what happens when I look at a male and I don't think he is attractive? Or maybe not my type? I convince myself it's because I'm gay. It's a horrible cycle:(
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- 3y
yessss!!! this is my issue too. i’m very picky and i like to see guys in person rather than on the internet obviously. but this has been my issue as well. but when all is back to normal that is back to normal as well because i have no doubts
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- 3y
@miamigirl I always had the horrible habit of comparing myself to other females even from toddler age to see what I should look like or act like etc. Then ocd tells me I was attracted to them. Ocd is so confusing :(
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 yes me too!!! and when someone was pretty i always tried to copy them to be even prettier hahah
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- 3y
@miamigirl YES!!! Or being friends with the popular girls!!!! At the time I wanted to dress/act like them for attention from boys in middle school, now I'm like, was it me admiring them???? Or me being attracted???? Ughhhhh!
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 I WAS JUST THINKING OF THAT!! there was this pretty popular girl and i always wanted to be one of them/ be friends with them so i could be noticed by the boys and my ocd is telling me nope u were just attracted to them lmao. and i know that’s not true because i never even thought about that stuff before i had my ocd onset anyways fuck this
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- 3y
I know it’s so confusing like why does it convinces us otherwise why can’t it just go away and what ever we are feeling is okay and it doesn’t always have to be something that needs a label . I kind of obsess about it too much I think if I think too much I’ll completely come off boys but at the same time I have no attraction towards girls so I’m just so confused and I tried everything to try help like books sprays to calm myself talking to my doctor I’m just so afraid a therapist won’t help and i will be stuck in this what ifs spiral forever
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- 3y
i feel you :((( that’s another example of it being ocd because everything needs to be for certain. i don’t even know if i’ll feel better anymore
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- 3y
@miamigirl I’m so glad you feel the same I really thought I was going through some type of denial even though I knew I don’t feel that way for girls but when I started searching online and read an article about hocd and read the comments and hearing people having the same thoughts about having extreme thoughts but not actually wanting g or attraction to girls I felt so relieved . The only problem is I can’t stop the panicking or the stressing it won’t go I feel I panic and cry cause I don’t know what to do
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- 3y
@josie12 look at how many of us are going through the same thing!! all of us think we’re in denial lol
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- 3y
I think its when I’m alone and I started thinking or when I’m in school and I start to panicking not knowing who I am . Sometimes I panic when my leaves because I feel overthinking this whole hocd is confusing my feelings for him I just wanna go back to normal I was happy and never second guessed it myself
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- 3y
how do u know u don’t have feelings for girls? I truly don’t know anymore. I also have hocd but it feels like denial since it feels like I do have feelings for girls. It could be false attraction but its so real. and I have 0 feelings for guys now. It seems like Ive never even liked men. And I get thoughts like “girls are prettier than men” “why would you wanna be straight if you don’t even like men?” “girls are so much better than men” Does it looks like denial? Idek if Im straight anymore. I truly feel lesbian :(
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- 3y
this helps me out because when it’s real u don’t lose feelings for the other gender
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- 3y
@miamigirl wait what? im not sure what u mean. Do u think this sounds like denial?
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- 3y
@strawberry ice cream I think it is different for everyone based on what your mind is focusing/obsessing over. When you are focusing on girls, obsessing over the thought of not being heterosexual, it's normal to loose interest in males because you aren't looking at males. Your brain is telling you to do something else. Atleast that is what I struggle with
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 this is what i meant yes exactly !!
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 and you start looking at women differently, not like usual, it makes me so uncomfortable and it’s like i’m forcing it. it’s like everyone is attractive when i know that’s not possibly true
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- 3y
@miamigirl Yes!!! It's the confusion between trying to decipher whether it's attraction or if I just think a girl is simply pretty.
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- 3y
@miamigirl ohh i relate to this!!
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- 3y
Ya I’m little confused too what do you mean when it’s real u don’t lose feelings
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- 3y
what ocd_sufferer8 said
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- 3y
also i’m scared when my brain calms down to think about absolutely anything. i know ocd will latch onto it and run with it and make me ruminate for hours on end
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 14w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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