- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
And when you do look at males, for reassurance, (again something I personally struggle with) I'm not letting my own mind work. It's my ocd taking over. I'm focusing on making sure I'm attracted to him for being a male. Which sends my mind into a funk and triggers the ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
yes this too!!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with the same thing. You are not alone I promise you that
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s just the whole hocd has took a toll on my life I just feel sad and stressed and sometimes I just feel like everyday is deja by cause I can’t get over this and I know I’m not in denial cause I have no attraction or feelings it’s just the thoughts of the dream making me spiral into what ifs and that’s and thank you I’m glad I’m not alone :)
- Date posted
- 3y
What are some of your Triggers?
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- 3y
So what should I do should I just stop trying to figure out my attraction and let it be or do you think I should get therapy to try help this problem
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- 3y
Depending how often you obsess over it. It took over my life so I'm currently going through treatment with med/therapy.
- Date posted
- 3y
my therapist made my problem worse. she just freaked me out and i was getting better on my own and then i spiraled again
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- 3y
@miamigirl Finding a therapist and or medication that works for you is always trial and error. Took me atleast 5 different therapist to be able to connect with somebody
- Date posted
- 3y
Because what happens when I look at a male and I don't think he is attractive? Or maybe not my type? I convince myself it's because I'm gay. It's a horrible cycle:(
- Date posted
- 3y
yessss!!! this is my issue too. i’m very picky and i like to see guys in person rather than on the internet obviously. but this has been my issue as well. but when all is back to normal that is back to normal as well because i have no doubts
- Date posted
- 3y
@miamigirl I always had the horrible habit of comparing myself to other females even from toddler age to see what I should look like or act like etc. Then ocd tells me I was attracted to them. Ocd is so confusing :(
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- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 yes me too!!! and when someone was pretty i always tried to copy them to be even prettier hahah
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- 3y
@miamigirl YES!!! Or being friends with the popular girls!!!! At the time I wanted to dress/act like them for attention from boys in middle school, now I'm like, was it me admiring them???? Or me being attracted???? Ughhhhh!
- Date posted
- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 I WAS JUST THINKING OF THAT!! there was this pretty popular girl and i always wanted to be one of them/ be friends with them so i could be noticed by the boys and my ocd is telling me nope u were just attracted to them lmao. and i know that’s not true because i never even thought about that stuff before i had my ocd onset anyways fuck this
- Date posted
- 3y
I know it’s so confusing like why does it convinces us otherwise why can’t it just go away and what ever we are feeling is okay and it doesn’t always have to be something that needs a label . I kind of obsess about it too much I think if I think too much I’ll completely come off boys but at the same time I have no attraction towards girls so I’m just so confused and I tried everything to try help like books sprays to calm myself talking to my doctor I’m just so afraid a therapist won’t help and i will be stuck in this what ifs spiral forever
- Date posted
- 3y
i feel you :((( that’s another example of it being ocd because everything needs to be for certain. i don’t even know if i’ll feel better anymore
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- 3y
@miamigirl I’m so glad you feel the same I really thought I was going through some type of denial even though I knew I don’t feel that way for girls but when I started searching online and read an article about hocd and read the comments and hearing people having the same thoughts about having extreme thoughts but not actually wanting g or attraction to girls I felt so relieved . The only problem is I can’t stop the panicking or the stressing it won’t go I feel I panic and cry cause I don’t know what to do
- Date posted
- 3y
@josie12 look at how many of us are going through the same thing!! all of us think we’re in denial lol
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- 3y
I think its when I’m alone and I started thinking or when I’m in school and I start to panicking not knowing who I am . Sometimes I panic when my leaves because I feel overthinking this whole hocd is confusing my feelings for him I just wanna go back to normal I was happy and never second guessed it myself
- Date posted
- 3y
how do u know u don’t have feelings for girls? I truly don’t know anymore. I also have hocd but it feels like denial since it feels like I do have feelings for girls. It could be false attraction but its so real. and I have 0 feelings for guys now. It seems like Ive never even liked men. And I get thoughts like “girls are prettier than men” “why would you wanna be straight if you don’t even like men?” “girls are so much better than men” Does it looks like denial? Idek if Im straight anymore. I truly feel lesbian :(
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- 3y
this helps me out because when it’s real u don’t lose feelings for the other gender
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- 3y
@miamigirl wait what? im not sure what u mean. Do u think this sounds like denial?
- Date posted
- 3y
@strawberry ice cream I think it is different for everyone based on what your mind is focusing/obsessing over. When you are focusing on girls, obsessing over the thought of not being heterosexual, it's normal to loose interest in males because you aren't looking at males. Your brain is telling you to do something else. Atleast that is what I struggle with
- Date posted
- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 this is what i meant yes exactly !!
- Date posted
- 3y
@ocd_sufferer8 and you start looking at women differently, not like usual, it makes me so uncomfortable and it’s like i’m forcing it. it’s like everyone is attractive when i know that’s not possibly true
- Date posted
- 3y
@miamigirl Yes!!! It's the confusion between trying to decipher whether it's attraction or if I just think a girl is simply pretty.
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- 3y
@miamigirl ohh i relate to this!!
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- 3y
Ya I’m little confused too what do you mean when it’s real u don’t lose feelings
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- 3y
what ocd_sufferer8 said
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- 3y
also i’m scared when my brain calms down to think about absolutely anything. i know ocd will latch onto it and run with it and make me ruminate for hours on end
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 22w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 12w
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
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