Every time there is more on this Larry Nassar case my real event ocd is triggered once again and I am sent spiraling for days

Yeah that doesn’t give me reassurance, the opposite ! I don’t want to be here for it to pass. I’m so so done

@Justmesadly Please don't give up. This shit sucks, I know. Every single day it's nothing but shame and it's so hard to just say "you know what, fuck this, I don't care what the thoughts tell me" and actually follow the actions that are with the statement. It's hard for me to do that but I'm still figuring out a way how. If you want to talk about your themed we can

@Justmesadly Don't give up! There is hope. Get a therapist that specializes in ERP and understands OCD. You can recover from OCD. It won't be easy, but it can be done. I've noticed a huge difference since starting ERP.

@Lms526 Ive already completed erp months ago with nocd

@Justmesadly How did you feel then? Did it help?

@BigGip09 Yeah it helped for about 5 months

@Justmesadly What is it that you did in terms of ERP? We seem to have the same themes, at least the one you listed in this post. I know ERP is different for everyone, but what was yours like? Maybe you can keep at those exposures to continue doing better.

@BigGip09 Intentional ERP doesn’t work for me. My therapist said that it could be bc if GAD and Panic disorder, what really bothers me about unintentional erp is that I have no control, so intentional erp my brain knows is fake and I can stop at any moment. I attempted things like writing peoples names down, writing down the event, reading the event out loud etc

@Justmesadly Oh wow. Very interesting. I think I'm the same way with unintentionally ERP at least. It's way more intense because I'm not prepared for it, so when I see something insanely triggering, it's worse, but it's also more of an effect ERP wise

@Justmesadly I think you not having control at times isn't a bad thing because we can't have control at all times. Things do happen out of our control and what we do with what happens is how we react to it all. I hope that makes sense

@BigGip09 Yes 100% more effective and honestly probably why I was able to get to a functional point much faster than some. I had also done a ton of research on ocd and how to “cure it” so I had gotten to a pretty good spot by the time I discovered nocd bc I was to the point that I didn’t want to live anymore but it was terrifying me bc i know my dad couldn’t live without me so I got angry at myself, my brain, God, and tried to do everything in my power to be okay again

@BigGip09 Needless to say that doesn’t work all the time bc this week has been hell for me. This is my first post in months! Besides I may have posted advice to help people get to recovery once or twice

@Justmesadly Sorry to hear all of that. It really sounds like you're trying. It sounds like you want to get better and you want to do better in life and not be stuck with this. I think if you hold onto hope, keep practicing ERP in a way that best suits you, things will get better. I think you can take your post as a way to get through that ocd spike and prevent any compulsions towards it

@Justmesadly That's also good! It's good to not post too much on here because that could be detrimental in the long run. One slip up doesn't take away your entire road to recovery! I think you're still going good and you're on the right track of things. I really do think you'll be able to get through this with the right mindset!

@BigGip09 Well positing just ends up with reassurance and being a compulsion that’s why I don’t post. When I was really bad I posted all the time ! My therapist challenged me not to post for a week and it was hard but after that I didn’t have the urge nearly as often so I got past that. Thank you for your sympathy. I do try really hard and that’s why I’m so upset by the spike!

@Justmesadly Don't be upset by this spike!! Always remember that you are suffering from OCD. You didn't choose this and you can't control it at all times! Like I said earlier, it's okay if you don't have control of things all the time because this is not a perfect world. In my eyes, you're doing a good job and I can definitely take notes from your experiences. I also don't post as much because it would end up being reassurance or it would not get noticed which is probably for the better. I have compulsions that I am also trying to break and so far it is going well.