Help 💔 I keep arguing with my mind. I keep having sexual intrusive thoughts and every time I tell my mind I don’t like the thoughts my mind is like “yes you do” and I’m like no, no I don’t. What should I do? Like honestly it feels so real. I do NOT want to ever be a monster or like the thoughts but it’s so convincing. Please help I’m on the end of my rope here

Hello I’m actually glad that you answered because you have been so helpful. I’ve been struggling all day because last night I kept getting sexual intrusive thoughts about a family member and it felt so real as if I liked the thoughts but deep down with all my heart I know I don’t like them but it feels so real. I don’t even know how to explain it. I believe maybe it could be because they were sexual in nature and not really because of who it was about but I don’t know. I’m super confused and terrified. I don’t even know how I could even accept this. I don’t want to be a monster. Why in the world does it feel like I like them when I don’t? It’s so strange. I hate this

I’m actually in the process of getting another therapist because I lost mine and that’s overwhelming as well because I can’t talk to a professional about this

@Just Breathe ❤️ Sorry for the late reply! :( I can relate to having intrusive sexual thoughts, (but I have a TON of other intrusive thoughts too, sexual thoughts are actually one of the least intrusive thoughts I have honestly, just thought I should say that before giving you advice about this) but my OCD doesn't tell me to worry about them in the same way that it would for someone with POCD, at least I don't think so anyway... When I get basically any OCD thought my compulsion is almost ALWAYS to confess it to someone, normally my wife, but also other family members like my parents or in-laws. I'll just simply feel bad for having the thought at all, but not because I'm afraid I'll act on it or because I might actually like it, but just really simply because I had the thought at all in my mind. So my compulsion is really just confession. Sorry if I over explained that... And you're NOT a monster, you're a human being who is just struggling with a very complex and challenging mental condition. It's going to be okay though! It really is friend. I know those words might sound hollow... And I don't feel like I even have the proper advice to give you... But I do know that you sound like a really nice person, and I bet your friends are glad that they know you and that they're friends with you. :) Don't argue with your OCD about your thoughts, because at the end of the day that's all they are, just thoughts, and your thoughts do NOT define you. Your OCD does NOT define you. Try to focus on something else, I know it might be difficult, but just even if its something small, like talking with me on here about life. For instance, what are you doing right now Just Breathe? I'm about to play a video game with my wife. :)

@Drew777 Thank you so much I appreciate it. You’ve been very helpful and honestly just knowing I’m not alone helps. The thoughts are super loud and I hate with a passion that I have them. You seem like a very nice person as well. I think that would be really awesome to talk about something besides ocd. It feels like that’s all I talk about especially when I deal with the confessing compulsion as well. That’s so cool! I play video games too! Right now I’m trying to sleep but that’s not going very well lol

@Just Breathe ❤️ You're very welcome Just Breathe. :) the thoughts will be loud sometimes, but the more we learn to ignore them the quieter they will get. I try to be a nice person, so I'm glad that you think I am nice. :) I'm sorry that you're having trouble sleeping, but I'm here to talk about stuff besides OCD if you wanna talk. :) What kinds of games do you like to play? My wife and I are currently playing Minecraft: Story Mode on Playstation 4 right now. :) it's been out for years now, but I wanted to show the game to my wife because she hasn't played it before, I played the game with my sister back when it was first released though.

@Drew777 I play Xbox but I have played Minecraft just not the story mode. I used to play Overwatch, GTA 5, PUBG, Call of Duty, Black ops, and so on. Haven’t played in a while though but that’s a long story. My favorite game of all time is World of Warcraft in pc though 😆

@Just Breathe ❤️ I've never played World of Warcraft, but I know it's a very popular PC game. My sister used to love playing Overwatch, she hasn't played it in a long time though, I was never very good at it but I liked watching her play the game though. :) I've played a good bit of GTA V, but its been awhile since I last played that. I haven't played PUBG before, but I know it's another popular Battle Royale game, kind of like Fortnite or H1Z1 I think. I really like Call Of Duty, I like zombies mode the best on Black Ops. :) I don't know if any of those games are cross platform between PS4 or XBOX, but if you ever wanted to play a game together that'd be cool. I hope that doesn't sound weird though... I just thought it would be a nice way for you to try to relax and get your mind off of OCD and life's troubles. Playing video games really helps me to unwind after a difficult day, and to just forget about the struggles of life. I also really like watching anime! There are some really cool animes out there that have some great stories. :) do you like anime at all? I know animes not for everyone, lol.

@Drew777 That would be awesome maybe if there are some cross platform games that would be so cool! It would definitely help to keep my mind off things. I have friends that watch anime. I want to watch it but I’m scared to because of my pocd. But maybe one day I will get to. Was thinking about maybe using it as an exposer opportunity but I don’t know yet 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Just Breathe ❤️ Yeah, I think it could definitely help to keep your mind off of things, I know it helps me. :) I'll look more into which games are cross platform. And oh yeah, I definitely understand, anime has some pretty questionable stuff in it sometimes, I've had to stop watching a few different animes because of inappropriate content that I wasn't comfortable with watching. But I think it could be a good exposer opportunity for you too, just in the proper timing when you feel that you're ready and comfortable, and that goes for any exposer therapy I think. Maybe I could suggest some animes to you sometime if you like, but I'm not sure exactly what anime I would suggest yet... I'd have to think more about it honestly.

@Drew777 Yeah that’s what worries me a bit. But yeah if there’s any that you can think of let me know!

@Just Breathe ❤️ Yeah, for sure. :) Well, I feel bad because I'm probably keeping you awake while you're trying to sleep, so I'll let you get some sleep. Hope you have a great night though! :)

@Drew777 Don’t feel bad! It’s all good! Have a good night as well!