I feel like no one gets it. That I’m all alone in this. I don’t understand why this is happening. The thoughts feel so real. My mind keeps trying to trick me into thinking that I like the thoughts or want them. It just can’t be. Why does it feel so real? What’s wrong with me 💔

Yeah same. I’m honestly so terrified I don’t know what to do

@Just Breathe ❤️ Me neither I feel like getting locked away forever so i don’t do anything stupid

But why does it feel so real like it’s an actual desire? I don’t ever want it to be. I’m extremely terrified and I honestly just want to end it all. It feels so real. I keep thinking what if I want it? I can’t do this anymore

@Just Breathe ❤️ I’m your age, do you mean you actually have a desire against children or it just feels this way? OCD can trick you many ways. Its told me I want to be a p, its told me I want to look at children inappropriately. I just know is that pedophilia is a lie, at least in my case. I’ve never desired a child harm in any way, & I’ve thought the most evil I could ever think! All I can advise is ERP!! It really helps, get up & fight for your life & identity against OCD.

@hunty It feels that way. I would never in my entire life ever harm a child. I don’t even know how to explain it. I’m really having a panic attack

@hunty So what’s going on is I was having random sexual intrusive thoughts about a specific person and ever since my mind keeps telling me that it’s real and that I want it when I know I would never. I think that maybe it was because it was sexual in nature and not really had to do with the person itself but rather because it was a sexual intrusive thought. But then again I keep getting intrusive thoughts “oh well you like this” or “even if it was that person you would still like it” and that can’t be right! I just don’t understand. I’m done. I want to end my life I really do but I’m too scared to

@Just Breathe ❤️ My thoughts tell me I am only sad about these thoughts because I cannot act on them, which is not why I am sad. I am sad that I have these thoughts & just know I don’t want to act them. We really are not our thoughts, in so many ways!!! Reassurance doesn’t always feel great, but its just the truth

@hunty I just keep thinking what if I’m turning into a monster. I don’t ever want to be a monster 💔

@Just Breathe ❤️ you either are a p or aren’t . unless you actually engage in pedophilic behavior , which is awful to even think about! Many people recover from pocd, & I just know that you & I can too! How long have you had pocd?

@hunty About 2 years

@Just Breathe ❤️ have you done erp ? honestly i am not naturally around kids so i really cant

@hunty I’ve tried to do erp a little bit but honestly it’s so hard to do sometimes

@Just Breathe ❤️ When I did erp with my niece & nephew it was so weird , like weird where i couldnt tell . But my husband was there! & I only felt comfortable being intimate with him, like laying on his grown body. If I was with a child alone, I don’t think I’d do anything. 😵‍💫simply because i didnt want to which is the beauty of it, but it doesnt make me feel good. like if i dont want to hurt kids, then why the fucking thoughts. so thats when you’ve got to try to defuse from thoughts

@hunty Right I totally get this. It’s only been the last couple days that I’ve felt the way I have I know for a fact I would never harm anyone it’s just not who I am. I’m honestly so heartbroken this is happening to me. I hate the thoughts like despise them with a passion but my ocd keeps telling me otherwise. It feels so freaking real I don’t get it