Magzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
Anonymous:,(Anonymous:,(
- Date posted
- 4y
I can relate especially when I’m anxious and I’m trying to ignore it. The thought gets louder and I start to get irritable I guess and I feel like I’m going to act on it and it freaks me out so much. Sometimes I wish I could just stay home forever so I don’t do anything stupid
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah same. I’m honestly so terrified I don’t know what to do
Anonymous:,(Anonymous:,(
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ Me neither I feel like getting locked away forever so i don’t do anything stupid
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
Do ERP! Today I woke up feeling anxious regarding pocd & hocd. I usually start my mornings with outdoor meditation & prayer. Then I do ERP. It helps me when I go on instagram & look at my followers (maybe dads or moms) & see their content. It helps to see happy little children! & it makes you realize “wow, I am not attracted to these kids at all” it takes away power from thoughts, OCD is always gonna have a second opinion. But keep fighting! I wonder this too “whats wrong with me?” hun, we have obsessive compulsive disorder with an AWFUL theme attached to it. Please fight, this will all be over one day.
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
But why does it feel so real like it’s an actual desire? I don’t ever want it to be. I’m extremely terrified and I honestly just want to end it all. It feels so real. I keep thinking what if I want it? I can’t do this anymore
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ I’m your age, do you mean you actually have a desire against children or it just feels this way? OCD can trick you many ways. Its told me I want to be a p, its told me I want to look at children inappropriately. I just know is that pedophilia is a lie, at least in my case. I’ve never desired a child harm in any way, & I’ve thought the most evil I could ever think! All I can advise is ERP!! It really helps, get up & fight for your life & identity against OCD.
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty It feels that way. I would never in my entire life ever harm a child. I don’t even know how to explain it. I’m really having a panic attack
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty So what’s going on is I was having random sexual intrusive thoughts about a specific person and ever since my mind keeps telling me that it’s real and that I want it when I know I would never. I think that maybe it was because it was sexual in nature and not really had to do with the person itself but rather because it was a sexual intrusive thought. But then again I keep getting intrusive thoughts “oh well you like this” or “even if it was that person you would still like it” and that can’t be right! I just don’t understand. I’m done. I want to end my life I really do but I’m too scared to
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ My thoughts tell me I am only sad about these thoughts because I cannot act on them, which is not why I am sad. I am sad that I have these thoughts & just know I don’t want to act them. We really are not our thoughts, in so many ways!!! Reassurance doesn’t always feel great, but its just the truth
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty I just keep thinking what if I’m turning into a monster. I don’t ever want to be a monster 💔
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ you either are a p or aren’t . unless you actually engage in pedophilic behavior , which is awful to even think about! Many people recover from pocd, & I just know that you & I can too! How long have you had pocd?
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty About 2 years
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ have you done erp ? honestly i am not naturally around kids so i really cant
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty I’ve tried to do erp a little bit but honestly it’s so hard to do sometimes
huntyhunty
- Date posted
- 4y
@Just Breathe ❤️ When I did erp with my niece & nephew it was so weird , like weird where i couldnt tell . But my husband was there! & I only felt comfortable being intimate with him, like laying on his grown body. If I was with a child alone, I don’t think I’d do anything. 😵💫simply because i didnt want to which is the beauty of it, but it doesnt make me feel good. like if i dont want to hurt kids, then why the fucking thoughts. so thats when you’ve got to try to defuse from thoughts
MagzzzMagzzz
- Date posted
- 4y
@hunty Right I totally get this. It’s only been the last couple days that I’ve felt the way I have I know for a fact I would never harm anyone it’s just not who I am. I’m honestly so heartbroken this is happening to me. I hate the thoughts like despise them with a passion but my ocd keeps telling me otherwise. It feels so freaking real I don’t get it
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issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 25w
It feels more real than ever right now :(
I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.
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Juris
- Date posted
- 23w
It’s so scary because it feels real
I have really bed harming intrusive thoughts and sometimes feels like it’s feeling! The thoughts happening every day and the hardest part is that I’m testing my self in head all the time if that’s what I am or want!!! Also, so many times feels like I’m been tricking myself and doctor or people and maybe I don’t have OCD, just that maybe it’s me really!!!! How can I know who I am really 🥹???!!??
moon0270
- Date posted
- 21w
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