Really struggling today😪 anyone up for a conversation about the similar things we struggle with? (Not looking for reassurance just could use a friend)

Hey!

@ocd_sufferer8 Feel free to vent about what you’re struggling with 🥺

@Whyyocd I think I'm coming to terms with being gay.

@ocd_sufferer8 Honestly I feel like it’s gonna feel like this sometimes for anyone who has this theme. Because we’re gonna eventually experience thoughts and etc without anxiety because of ERP or complete exhaustion. Like I know I’ve felt in denial or like I was coming to terms that I’m gay some days vs others. Even from hour to hour. Like this morning I felt pretty convinced. Right now I feel less like that.

@Whyyocd Ugh it is psychological torture. Not to pity myself but damn. What did I do to deserve this? Like how can everyone else wake up everyday so effortlessly happy?

@ocd_sufferer8 No I literally have thought the same thing 🥲 and then I feel bad for doing it. And honestly… these intrusive thoughts, images, and etc (and I hope I don’t sound dramatic) but have been traumatizing

@Whyyocd Not dramatic one bit. Every day has been sooo traumatic since dealing with this. Have you tried erp for a while? I haven't started it and don't know how. Like, where you extremely nervous?

@ocd_sufferer8 I’ve been doing ERP since July! I feel like it’s kind of complicated for me though because I was at home when all of this started. I was taking summer courses and like never went out. Maybe for a drive or to go inside Kroger for groceries but it wasn’t really triggering because I mostly only saw older people. We also live in like the middle of no where lolll and I was avoiding a lot (like social media, movies, any triggers) and had almost no interactions with other women. But coming to college completely changed that. Especially because I have a job as a resident advisor. I was being triggered by every single woman I saw and the thoughts were terrible. Like I was crying every single day for a couple weeks. But I also had to change therapist because of scheduling reasons. So I didn’t have a therapist for about 2-3 weeks. My anxiety has gotten a lot better when it comes to triggers but I definitely still don’t feel like myself. And I still have days where it completely feels like I’m in denial. I think it’s definitely gonna take some more time. And it definitely got harder before it got a little better. And I have to keep going to see what I end with. I definitely was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect and I was worried I was just going to be told I was gay or that I didn’t have OCD. And therapists don’t do any of that and your exposures are only of things you are comfortable with. Or that the exposures would make me realize my fear is true. But the fact is that it’s really hard doing ERP because you’re triggering yourself and just siting with the anxiety and no compulsions. So it’s definitely going to feel like it’s not working at first but it’s something you have to train your brain to get use to. If you want to do self ERP I can try to help you! I would need to know what your triggers are.

@Whyyocd Oh I also have a boyfriend and I see him in less than 3 weeks :)

@Whyyocd Thank you so much for sharing all this with me. I know it must be so hard to open up because I know it is for me!

@ocd_sufferer8 Of course!!! If you ever want to vent or feel ready to share, just let me know! 🤍

Hey!!

Hi 👋