I can't stop comparing myself to others and wishing I never did the things I did. And that I would stop having these intrusive thoughts about everything in life..sexual and non sexual thoughts. Its killing me .

Yeah it's so hard to live with..the shame and regret. It really eats you up. My past regrets are something I struggle to tell people because I feel they would just say " you're a p*do (and other things) in denial..there's no way you aren't one after what you've told me" but I know I'm not..sometimes my head gets so dark and im like " maybe I am a p*do..maybe I am in denial..." and I hate it..

Some of my regrets..i did less than a year ago.. which I really struggle with knowing :(

@🌸 I don't know if you want to talk about it or not or if there's some way to make you feel better about everything. I have things in the past I'm not proud of. I'm sure we all do at this point. I find it hard to be in the positive moment because I'm just too hard on myself and I can't put the negative inner critic to rest along with the intrusive thoughts. I'm sure it's the same for you. I'm sure that you don't try to do anything that reminds you of your past too. For me this all started over something I did when I was 16. Then one memory after another just kept coming up and I hadn't realized that I had a crippling addiction to p***into last year. I stopped thankfully, and I haven't gone back to it in the last 5 months. Like me, maybe you're being too hard on yourself too

@BigGip09 I really don't belive I'm being to hard on myself...the things I done.. were and are disgusting. I like to test myself sometimes and question things about my fears..I don't know why I do it. If you wanna talk.. I have some private social media's.. I'm not comfortable talking about it on here where everyone can see it!

@BigGip09 I'm sorry to hear you go through that. It's very similar to what I go through. I hope you the best, don't be harsh on yourself.. 🙏I had a p*** addiction toon,watched a lot I regret..:(

@🌸 Please don't test yourself! That's the worst compulsion there is. That's the last thing you want to do and it won't get you to feel any better. Ruminating also will not help you, though it's something I struggle with too. I find it much easier to give others advice rather than myself and I'm trying to change that slowly. I'm overall just trying to do better and I don't want to make any mistakes. No it's fine. I think I change my mind on talking about it in private. I think it would just stir up a lot of reassurance seeking from there and back. I hope that doesn't offend you.

@BigGip09 I understand! Hope you the best. I'm always here If you need someone to talk too :)

@🌸 Thank you. Right now I just want to focus on ERP, however way I'll get to it. That and trying to put things that happened in the past behind me somehow. I wish you the best with everything too. And you don't have to do it alone. You can reach out here.

@BigGip09 Thank you! I will consider it. I'm just really questioning if it's ocd or not because I feel my thoughts are intrusive but in a way not ..I'm not sure how to explain it..which lately has me really depressed because I'm stuck. ERP sounds like it will do you good 🙏😊

@🌸 If it feels like you have to question it constantly with what ifs back and forth, it says something. You take care now. I really hope you improve mentally 👍

@BigGip09 Thank youuuu! :)

Thank you so much,reading that really helped lift my mood. I have real event ocd and i did lots of things in the past I regret so much..but I want want belive that because I regret them..that's no longer me and I can fund myself. I'm not my past...no matter how messed up it is.

@Ocdsuckss Yes that true 💜 i am happy if it helped you, because i was going through exactly same thing and i know how you are feeling ❤️ there is the future and chance to make it good for yourself, maybe you can't believe in that now but time to time you will understand 💜