🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
You sound a lot like me when it comes to your themed and the intrusive thoughts. Mine are ALWAYS sexual. It makes me want to not even engage with sexual things. I know that's avoidance but I guess it makes me feel safer in a way? I don't know how to explain it. All the things I worry about in the past are related to anything sexual, that being relationship, hookups, or p***. It always bothers me every single day and I'm often conflicted with the thoughts of things I did when I were younger or anything that happened years ago. I know I'm not perfect, and I'm seeing these mistakes as regrets and they aren't who I am now, but I just can't get it off me. It feels like I'm tainted by them permanently.
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah it's so hard to live with..the shame and regret. It really eats you up. My past regrets are something I struggle to tell people because I feel they would just say " you're a p*do (and other things) in denial..there's no way you aren't one after what you've told me" but I know I'm not..sometimes my head gets so dark and im like " maybe I am a p*do..maybe I am in denial..." and I hate it..
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
Some of my regrets..i did less than a year ago.. which I really struggle with knowing :(
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@🌸 I don't know if you want to talk about it or not or if there's some way to make you feel better about everything. I have things in the past I'm not proud of. I'm sure we all do at this point. I find it hard to be in the positive moment because I'm just too hard on myself and I can't put the negative inner critic to rest along with the intrusive thoughts. I'm sure it's the same for you. I'm sure that you don't try to do anything that reminds you of your past too. For me this all started over something I did when I was 16. Then one memory after another just kept coming up and I hadn't realized that I had a crippling addiction to p***into last year. I stopped thankfully, and I haven't gone back to it in the last 5 months. Like me, maybe you're being too hard on yourself too
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 I really don't belive I'm being to hard on myself...the things I done.. were and are disgusting. I like to test myself sometimes and question things about my fears..I don't know why I do it. If you wanna talk.. I have some private social media's.. I'm not comfortable talking about it on here where everyone can see it!
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 I'm sorry to hear you go through that. It's very similar to what I go through. I hope you the best, don't be harsh on yourself.. 🙏I had a p*** addiction toon,watched a lot I regret..:(
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@🌸 Please don't test yourself! That's the worst compulsion there is. That's the last thing you want to do and it won't get you to feel any better. Ruminating also will not help you, though it's something I struggle with too. I find it much easier to give others advice rather than myself and I'm trying to change that slowly. I'm overall just trying to do better and I don't want to make any mistakes. No it's fine. I think I change my mind on talking about it in private. I think it would just stir up a lot of reassurance seeking from there and back. I hope that doesn't offend you.
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 I understand! Hope you the best. I'm always here If you need someone to talk too :)
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@🌸 Thank you. Right now I just want to focus on ERP, however way I'll get to it. That and trying to put things that happened in the past behind me somehow. I wish you the best with everything too. And you don't have to do it alone. You can reach out here.
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Thank you! I will consider it. I'm just really questioning if it's ocd or not because I feel my thoughts are intrusive but in a way not ..I'm not sure how to explain it..which lately has me really depressed because I'm stuck. ERP sounds like it will do you good 🙏😊
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 4y
@🌸 If it feels like you have to question it constantly with what ifs back and forth, it says something. You take care now. I really hope you improve mentally 👍
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Thank youuuu! :)
set_me_free:)set_me_free:)
- Date posted
- 4y
Same, just now i was watching someone's Instagram and comparing myself to her... But it was more hard back then when i was feeling exactly that way which you said now. But this period passed for me at some point and now i don't want to be someone else, i want to be me, the real me but i don't know myself. I mean there are so many things i want to change in myself to be better, i want to be the better version of myself, not someone else. You will come in that state of mindset too maybe, what is a next i don't know. But what can i telk you is that you should give yourself time, just wait and it will change.
🌸🌸
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much,reading that really helped lift my mood. I have real event ocd and i did lots of things in the past I regret so much..but I want want belive that because I regret them..that's no longer me and I can fund myself. I'm not my past...no matter how messed up it is.
set_me_free:)set_me_free:)
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ocdsuckss Yes that true 💜 i am happy if it helped you, because i was going through exactly same thing and i know how you are feeling ❤️ there is the future and chance to make it good for yourself, maybe you can't believe in that now but time to time you will understand 💜
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HOY
- Date posted
- 23w
i dont know if its gonna get better
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Anonymous
- Date posted
- 19w
My brain hates me (18+)
It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.
andrea_sam730
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m so tired I just wanna be free
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
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