Why do tiktok videos have to be so damn triggering? I could be doing the best I've ever done dealing with my soocd then I click on one video "how to know if you're a lesbian" and i can't stop watching its like I want to get triggered or something. Ocd is so addictive, I almost bring it upon myself. These videos are so stupid too, they're sweeping generalizations when every single person is so unique and different. I hate everything. Looking forward to a day full of ruminating and fear of being a fraud 😐🙃

Ok so I just downloaded this app like two days ago because I was looking for a OCD specialist. Maybe this is just my opinion but the posting’s on this app can be super triggering. If feels like even sharing your experience on an app like this can contribute to fueling OCD. So many people I see reassurance seeking, confessing and posting the same things multiple times to gain certainty. Makes me wonder if this app is counterproductive to the point of OCD treatment. I’m guilty of spending hours scrolling through the post trying to find people who relate to me, but in the end it makes me more anxious and fuels my OCD. Idk what do you guys think.

I shouldn’t have done this (trigger trigger trigger!!) So about a month ago..maybe I watched this video (as a compulsion to prove to myself) The video was called “interview with a p3d0” And basically it was what it says, I watched or more like listened to half of it…after I was disgusted by the person, but now all I can think of is every little thing I do, I feel as if tho I’m monitoring every thought/moment and feeling I have it’s torturous and I hate it..I feel disgusting, the person in the video has empathy and sympathy and had those feelings yk, I can’t explain it you’d have to watch the video yourself but please don’t it will ruin your journey…I feel more hopeless then before, my OCD is telling me so many things trying to convince me things that Ik aren’t true, I’m just really scared I don’t want to be that person I want to be a good cousin and person to my family, I’m sick of my head and myself, I’m so tired that sometimes I can’t even think straight, my head is always in pain and idek how to help myself..compulsions have been becoming more and more exhausting… I need advice or even someone to relate to, I understand I shouldn’t have done what I did but idk how to forget it.. I had made this post already but when someone replied I couldn’t see it for some reason so I’m uploading it again

As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.