About to do the ultimate exposure…lol Propose to my gf in spite of my soocd…not waiting for reassurance to marry. My soocd was holding me back

So I’m really struggling to believe that anyone will want to be in a relationship with me and still love me when they find out about my pocd and intrusive thoughts. I am holding a belief no one can love me with this condition and they will be repulsed by me when they find out. I just don’t know how to shake that feeling and be brave enough to try and share with anyone I’m dating.

Hi all!! Its been a while since I've been in here and typically I come on here to give advice and encouragement which i still plan to do but i really need encouragement right now. I typically deal with so-ocd but right now its taking a back seat or just disappearing ( which I'm not complaining) but now my rocd is really coming in thick and heavy and Im overly anxious but i have had panic attacks to the thoughts and its just been heavily attack me on my feelings towards my bf. I love this man with my literal whole being and I want to marry him and I know he feels the same cause we have had discussions on marriage. But lately and idk if its because of my period starting (sorry tmi) and all the hormones but i can't feel my emotions all that well, and the thoughts are constantly telling me i don't love him, i don't want to talk to him which are all false me and him are long distance rn which is hard but we push through it. I really hate these thoughts and all it makes me want to do is scream and cry. Like i said not overly anxious but definitely just want to scream and cry and of course cause Im not overly anxious my ocd picks up on that says oh see your not anxious with that so it must be true. I'm just hot mess y'all:( But anyways word of encouragement keep pushing y'all all got this and Im proud of every single one of you!!

I dont want my relapse to stop me to assist, I will go but I am sad because I don't want a beautiful moment to became horrible because the fear and dicomfort I am feelling this days. It will be a good exposure but how can I enjoy it? The depression came back, I wasn't prepared for this, like I knew OCD is chronic but I forgot it hahaha Right now I am trying just to think in short times like, 24 h and it is helping a bit Update: The day was really good !