Morning everyone. I had about 4 days of not ruminating and was doing really well for the most part. But yesterday, another thought popped up, and it was like there was this voice inside of me saying “this one is different” and “just ask for reassurance this one time and it will all go away.” Well it didn’t go away. I asked about 5 different people for reassurance and then tried to do my big compulsion which is confessing to my fiancé. Luckily, he does not allow me to confess and cut me right off. So although I am a little sad that I gave in, it was another learning experience that all my thoughts are the same, none of them are an exception, and seeking reassurance doesn’t work. I’m recommitting to recovery today and will fight whatever is thrown my way because I’m ready to take my life back or die trying.

Yep, OCD will do whatever it takes to stay in control. Setbacks are going to happen. You are going to have good days and bad days. But it sounds like you are really making progress. It also sounds like you are learning to recognize how OCD operates and beating it at its own game. ERP makes a huge difference as well. Keep moving forward one day and one step at a time. Love your attitude. Keep fighting until you reach recovery or die trying. That attitude will take you a long way. Just rember, recovery is not a race. Some people recover in a relatively short time, while for others, it takes longer. Both are okay! This quote has helped me so much "Speed doesn't matter. Forward is forward." You can do it! We both can.

This is a common experience for all of us with ocd. You don’t need to feel bad about yourself. We are human working on recovery. A huge kudos to your fiancé as he won’t provide reassurance. Treat yourself. You are working hard.