Hi everyone! I have tried really hard to stop posting as much on this app. I realized that I was using it as a compulsion and posting on here almost everytime I had an anxious thought. It’s so nice to be met with compassion and understanding but I was also using it for reassurance/a crutch. But anyway, I’m REALLY stuck on something and I’ve already wasted my entire afternoon being really anxious about it so I’m just going to post it here as a way to salvage my mental health. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago and I am CONSTANTLY getting super triggered by things that happened in our past. Even things that occurred years ago, I seem to suddenly intrusively remember and then have to “solve them” all over again. What’s so frustrating is that my brain is so fuzzy and my memories are so blurry since it was so long ago, but I can’t seem to rely on my brain to accurately remember or decipher the situation. Today, I’m completely stuck as I remember a situation from one of the times him and I broke up temporarily. I remember being at a friends house and her and I were swiping through my Tinder for fun, when he popped up on my profile. When I went to his profile and checked his latest Instagram posts on his profile, it showed the latest Instagram photos of being from while we were still together. At the time, and now, this has led me down a rabbit hole of anxiety wondering if he was swiping on tinder while we were “madly in love“. I’ve googled everything I could about when Instagram and tinder update themselves. But now, everything I Google or look up about Instagram photos syncing with tinder makes it seem like there’s no way he wasn’t swiping while we were together. I’m pretty sure I confronted him about it at the time, even though him and I were broken up, because I was so upset and anxious. And I obviously worked through it at the time and let it go until now- 2 1/2 years later. Him and I are still great friends at this point, and all of me wants to call him and ask for reassurance but I know that that’s silly because it was so, so long ago. I feel like these things keep coming up because my anxiety is trying to still take this relationship away from me, even though it’s technically already over. In my mind, if I find out that he did bad things in the past, I can’t be friends with him in the present. I’m so tired of having these things come up on a daily basis and giving away my days to anxious thoughts from years ago, but I don’t know how to stop it from happening. Sorry this is so long, but thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate any advice and I’m crying as I write this. Thank you

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.

I’m overanlazing alot of things. My first post on my profile covers everything but I’m so worried and like nervous reck of what my ex boyfriend could be doing. We are on no contact for almost 3 weeks now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. I’m getting so much into my head like if he already moved on, or if he’s talking with some girl already, or letting a girl hit on him. Or even going back to bad habits. It’s been driving me nuts for the past few days. I’m still mad at him for hurting me mentally but miss him too. I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me, wrong with the way I’m thinking, like I’m not normal for thinking these things. That he’d find me weird I wonder those things and that I check on his profile on instagram, just staring at it, blocking and un blocking him. I worry that maybe he doesn’t think of me anymore. And he just. Doesn’t care. I feel like an older version of him would say I’m being too much, that I’m overthinking to so many extents that even tho we are broken up, he’s single and so am I and I shouldn’t care this much about it. But I do. And I’m sure it’s because I’m still in love with him. Even if I’m mad and upset still.