Hi all, I am sharing this information to meet others who have had the same thoughts and discuss about how to treat them. I have just moved in a new apartment and I am living alone for the first time. I have always been scared of horror movies. I have episodes of existential OCD every now and then. But moving in alone has made it worse on so many levels. My existential OCD is triggered by this. All the events feel like they are not real. Feeling disconnected from reality. And to top it off, my OCD is giving me thoughts that I have schizophrenia. It is making me believe that I will hallucinate and hear voices. Therefore I have become sensitive to the random noises around me. I also keep feeling that someone is watching me or someone is behind me. I keep imagining that I will eventually hallucinate a scary person or like a ghost or something in the house and it’ll chase me. I am scared of dark corners and opening doors. My OCD giving me scares that I have another mental disease is nothing new. But I don’t want to actually hallucinate because of these thoughts. If you have experienced something like this, I could really use some help talking about it.

Existential OCD

Doubleheroic

Date posted: 4y

Yeah i face my compulsions today night and actually slept what!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Do your compulsions include wanting to see if someone’s there? Weird part is, when I don’t see anyone there, my ocd tells me imagine it till you see it. Like it wants to see something really badly. And it won’t bring my anxiety down no matter what I do? Does that happen to you?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Also, really proud of you. You’re doing great. Just don’t let that OCD get what it wants.

Doubleheroic

Date posted: 4y

I got it dude and when i got insomnia in bed i always think i got depression or something and feel really bad like so bad..i also imagine that im hearing things

ef4414

Date posted: 4y

I went through something very similar when I moved into my new apartment. I had myself convinced their was always a shooter waiting for me. In the gym, in the lobby, in the parking garage. It got so bad, I’d become paralyzed by this fear and I was unable to leave my room. Eventually what helped me was forcing myself to go out in “safe” circumstances (during the daytime, with a friend, etc.) and literally prove to myself that nothing was there. I had to constantly reassure myself that I was safe. That these were things I was making up in my head. That nothing was actually there. Eventually, with support, I felt more comfortable leaving my room and walking around my complex. It took a while so I would recommend taking baby steps. I don’t know if any of this will help you. But I’ll be thinking of you! You’re stronger than you think!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

That helps a lot, thank you so much! I’m hoping I don’t end up hallucinating for real, just so worried about that part.

ef4414

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Being afraid of compulsion and thoughts is scary. And it’s kept me from doing a lot of things in my life. I would recommend working on reminding yourself that you are so much more than your fears and OCD. You’ve got this!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@ef4414 I really appreciate your support. Thanks so much.

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