So I was telling my boyfriend that a yoga teacher hugged me and kissed my cheeks and it was almost on half of my mouth - so I was like you want to beat him up ? And he’s like no they are like that ... I’m spiraling about him cheating

I told my boyfriend last night about all the times that I thought I “cheated” (I have ROCD) on him and he said that I didn’t but he still feels uncomfortable about it and I can tell he’s not answering me and he’s being really dry and his responses. He said it was fine but now I don’t know what to do because I know it’s not fine. I didn’t cheat on him, but I felt like I did and I told him that and I think it made him really uneasy. I just don’t wanna lose him and I’m scared because I had a dream about it and he got really mad and broke up with me. I didn’t want to tell him what I was going through in the first place, but it was eating at me so badly with the guilt I had to confess. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I cannot lose him.

Basically when I was drunk I was flirting with this guy I usual flirt with he was telling me that nothing could happen because he’s friends with my cousin, so I got really close to him and said oh resllr so you don’t want me, and I can’t remember what he said but I then kissed his like cheek or near his ear to like flirt with him and I’ve convinced myself because he said he couldn’t that basically I’ve harassed him. I left him alone after we’d finished talking but I’m so worried that me sorta going are you sure to him because he kept saying “maybe one day but right now I can’t” and saying “it’s not that I don’t want to” But I’m really scared that I’ve done something wrong. I keep picturing me kissing his cheek and him going like ugh fuck off when I don’t think that happened? I just have the worst anxiety around it right now

Every 30 minutes I spiral about something different. It’s exhausting. Right now I’m freaking out because I was finally feeling a little calmer, got on TikTok, and saw a post saying that comforting a guy or giving advice to a guy is considered cheating. Or “microcheating.” And so many people in the comments were agreeing. My OCD already gives me so much crap about having guy friends and comforting them during hard moments. Another post said that even giving advice when a guy texts you his problems is wrong, and like, I give advice so often. That one really struck me, because how on earth is that unacceptable? There was also a part about how hanging out with a guy is cheating too. I don’t really agree with that one either, but I guess I can understand that perspective a little more, especially if your partner feels uncomfortable with it. Still, it just added more fuel to the fire. I already doubt myself constantly, and then I read a comment that said, “*If you do any of that, all I’m hearing is ‘I’m a microcheater and proud.’*” I just started crying. I haven’t been able to sit with the uncertainty of whether I’ve been unfaithful or disrespectful to my boyfriend for months. Especially since my guy friend has given me comfort and advice too. Everything I do feels like cheating. ***Everything***. And seeing that just made it all feel so much worse.