i kinda just let the thoughts sit in my head but right now it just seems i don’t have an attraction to guys. it’s really scaring me and i’m not sure what to do about it. i’m scared to date guys because i’m scared to get hurt or have past trauma happen to me again and i feel liek that’s the reason i have these thoughts like “what if you just don’t like guys and you’re denying it” or “what if you just don’t like guys at all” and i know that’s not true because i’ve NEVER been attracted to any girls in that way. only guys and i’ve always been attracted to guys even really young. i’m just kinda scared right now and not sure what to do can someone help?

i know it’s just so shitty. i’ve never had a good relationship with guys and i was just wondering if that was maybe a possible cause of some of these thoughts?

I know my shitty history does. It increases my doubts 10 fold. Its hard when you dont have anything positive to bounce off of. I just know that even after all the bad, i kept moving forward and trying again with new guys. Abuse by a certain gender doesnt cause sexuality, its been proven. But ocd isnt logical, which is why we cant out logic it. Usually i try to do some meditation to calm myself, usually through some kind of mindfulness exercise. Lately, ive been trying to just accept the uncertainty. Im tired of banging my heart against this wall, and if i can risk it for enjoying my life with my boyfriend ill do anything at this point.

okay thank you so much i just wasn’t sure if it could make me have these thoughts. i’m also very very self conscious and i thin lthats another reason. i have these thoughts that guys will just judge me and think i’m a piece of shit so i also get scared about that stuff. sorry i keep adding more i’m just trying to maybe get to the root of the problem. i just get scared when these thoughts pop up because i’ve just never personally ever been able to see myself with another girl. to me it’s just not my cup of tea. i have no problem with it but with me it’s just not me.

Same. I went through my moment. I went through discovering i was a man attracted to men. I knew women weren't my thing even when i was a kid. I think that in a way hurts me more, because i know what its like, and that knowledge is making it harder for me to just go "oh well, maybe!". I can see the contrast but my brain cant. Absolutely maddening.

I suffer from sexual orientation ocd yeah. Im a gay guy, currently with another guy, but my brain seems to say otherwise. It just popped out of the blue when i read a friends retweet. It sidelined me. Its been 6+ months and ive been in this things grip relentlessly. Its definitely better than when it started, but its still a huge hassle.

gotcha okay. sorry just wasn’t sure if you’ve already been through it or are currently on it. i just feel like this has become a problem with every day life for me. before i was dating guys trying to get out there but now. i just don’t have feelings towards anything. i’ve been trying to really push myself and get out there again but my mind is telling me and saying “you don’t like this you’re lying to yourself this isn’t actually what you want” and i’m just saying like bitch this is but maybe omg then i start to freak out and blahhhh it sounds so stupid i know but fuck

Nah its not stupid. I have a lot of the same thoughts. My body doesnt even respo nd to women sexually and my brain is STILL persistant. This shit is absolutely the worst and horrifically confusing and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.

LOL SAME ive tried and ive just sat there like :/ with 0 interest whatsoever. Ive even TRIED to be interested and nothing. I cant do it. My body just goes "nope" and i sit there completely uninvested and in mild discomfort like "WHY"

hahahah ME TOOO i’ve sat there like so is something supposed to happen or like is it happening and literally me too i’ve even tried to fake my brain into being interested and i’ve just ended up being grossed out and just uncomfortable and i sit there like why the FUCK am i still thinking this?? why do i worry ab this still?? like ugh it just gets so annoying

Yeah its hell. Im working my hardest to try and not test anymore though. Its one of my bigger compulsuons. Aside from checking (which im trying to re program myself to make it non automatic), mental comparisons and ruminating.

yeah me too. i’m not googling things anymore because it ends up making things worse in the ending. i usually just let the thoughts sit and just let them float around but i just try not to act on them and just laugh ab it. prolly not the best approach but it seems to help me

God i need to stop googling too. Im REALLY bad at that.

hahaha i was too for the longest time. before i even knew this existed i googled and googled then read googling makes it worse and i just realized in that moment i fucked up hahah

I feel you bud. I had a bad dating past which fuels the fear. I know youre looking for reassurance which i cant give you, but ive been where you are. Shit im there right now. This shits gonna pass, as awful as it is. I try to hold on to a future where i can manage this. There are others whove done it. even when i fear that its "different because its me" i always try not to let that light go out

and i know sexuality doesn’t define you but to me these thoughts have just controlled me. they just came out of the blue one day saying what if i was gay and ever since then. things have just gotten worse. they have gotten a little better but at the same time i still have them and it just kind of makes me frustrated and sad. also i have a question, do you suffer from HOCD too?

see exactly!! it’s fucking annoying ughhh i don’t respond sexually to women either and i know you’re not supposed to do this but at the beginning i literally tried and sat there like okay whats supposed to happen but with guys it’s completely different. i do and i definetly do have these times when i’m like this gurl is gorgeous i wish i had her hair but i think that’s normal. so it’s just confusing when my mind is like “still you’re lying to yourself” like stfu what is going on hahah