- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I too have sexually intrusive thoughts. Mine are often related to incest or rape. I’ve had them for a long time and was too ashamed to talk to someone about it.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks for sharing! Sexual intrusive thoughts are the worst. They really made me feel like a dispicable person but telling my therapist was the best thing I’ve ever done. I hope you have opened up about them and if you haven’t I hope you will.
- Date posted
- 4y
I still feel disgusting and filthy when I get these thoughts, be now I know I’m not alone in having such thoughts
- Date posted
- 4y
You definitely are not!
- Date posted
- 4y
I know it’s the OCD, but it still feel awful
- Date posted
- 4y
Same here, I’m hoping ERP will help me as I’m planning on doing it with my therapist. Have you opened up to your therapist about this?
- Date posted
- 4y
And thank you for sharing your story, it made me feel like I’m not alone in this
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for your response & letting me know. I’m so glad! You are not alone!
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey it's okay to have fetishes. I have a vore fetish. I sometimes do feel shame but realize you can't control it and as long as it's harmless and you are not hurting others you are okay.
- Date posted
- 4y
That’s true & thank you. How do I know if it’s a fetish or OCD tho?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Confused OCD The thoughts aren't really the problem. Like many people may think they have a fetish but don't put much thought into it where it controls their mind/life. Fetishes are when you enjoy the subject matter and want to continue looking at such content. But it comes naturally, not from forcing yourself to look at content to see if it arouses you. So don't watch that content just to see if you're aroused, that is a compulsion.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Wormiez Also your shame around the problem could be extreme and unnecessary. Talking to your therapist could help solve what makes you feel so ashamed
- Date posted
- 4y
@Wormiez That’s a great explanation. Thank you @Wormiez!
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve heard of vore before & have always thought that was my fetish. Just maybe more hardcore without blood. But now that I know I have OCD & am also on Prozac I see that my arousal doesn’t work with those thoughts. Most of me is so so so relieved and part of me wants to be aroused because it felt good to be able to orgasm.
- Date posted
- 4y
There is a type of vore called hard vore. Which involves graphic digestion and blood. Orgasm will feel good no matter the content it's your body releasing hormones. If you don't feel aroused when on Prozac by those thoughts specifically then it's possible you never were into it. But either way your shame is excessive and you should continue talking to your therapist about it.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Wormiez Thank you! You understand this so well. I really really really appreciate your insight!!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
This is my first post on this app, though I made this account back in late September of 2021. I grew up in a toxic environment, and was mentally abused by my parents, included being taken advantage of because of my autism. I’ve been suffering from OCD as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a child, I’ve sometimes had thoughts that scared me, and I’d often try to find ways to calm myself down. I’ve had thoughts over the smallest and silliest of things, but as time went on, these thoughts suddenly became more violent, like wanting to step in front of moving car while waiting for the bus, or grabbing a knife on the dinner table and using it to stab a family member. Even thoughts of death and what happens afterwards scared me. Aside from being afraid of a kids horror show for a while, OCD did bother me at points in my life, but they never severely crippled me… until my teenage years. Throughout my teen hood, I would very occasionally suddenly imagine fictional child characters being SA’d. I would also sometimes imagine children getting injured while noticing them sometimes. I didn’t know why those thoughts popped up into my head and they would weird me out, but I would be able to usually push them aside and not think about them too much… but it got worse after I was dropped out of high school without my consent by my parents. In March of 2017, I was at a gas station when I saw a child and imagined doing a disgusting action with them. It freaked me out immensely and sent me into a panic attack. I was able to calm down from it shortly after, but I think it planted a seed into my brain, and it would launch a horrific attack on me the very next month. Me and my family were driving around a town for a special occasion when I had the worst OCD attack I’ve ever had. Every child I saw, I imagined doing something disgusting to them. I was having a full blown panic attack and it honestly felt like my mind itself was being sexually assaulted by this horrifying thoughts. This incident scarred me mentally, and to this day, I’m still afraid of being around anyone younger than me. I tried researching what these thoughts could mean, and I found out about these being symptoms of OCD. After talking with a psychiatrist a month later, I was diagnosed with OCD. For a while, I thought I’d be okay from that point. I thought I could conquer this on my own… but by early 2018, I was still struggling. I eventually came out to my older sibling and parents about what I was dealing with. They thankfully didn’t ridicule me, and did help me with getting a therapist. The first visit with my therapist went alright, but I was an emotional mess after finishing the session. The next time I went in however, I was seen by someone else because my therapist was out. The man I saw honestly felt condescending, and he basically made go to a group therapy session. The group therapy didn’t help in the slightest, and with more toxicity developing in my family afterwards, I stopped going after the group therapy. I did see my therapist at least once I think, but that was it. Ever since 2018, I was silent about my OCD. I was just hoping that someday I’d be free of my shackles both from my mental illness and my toxic environment. Two years later though, a friend (now partner) of mine heard about my family’s living situation and wanted to help get me out of there. I first visited them in 2021, and thankfully I stay with them for the most part. That being said, I was still worried about opening up to them about my OCD. I did talk with them about general OCD from time to time, but never got into P OCD… until last year finally. I opened up them fully about it, and both they and their mother told me that they weren’t upset, and that they understood where I was coming from. I think that genuinely helped me out, and I don’t feel as anxious as I did before. Just yesterday, I finally talked about my OCD to my older sibling (they’re super supportive and understand our parents toxicity). I was genuinely nervous about telling them for a while out of fear of them either abandoning me or ratting me out… but they understood. They were accepting and didn’t ridicule me at all. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders… and honestly, I think I might have the courage to speak up on this app finally and hopefully find a therapist who can help me. I’ve been suffering with P OCD for over 8 years now ever since I was 18. I just recently turned 27 a few days ago. I’ve been suffering in silence for so long due to trauma, fear, and PTSD. But now, I think I want to take a step forward and get onto the road to recovery. It most likely won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but I feel relieved knowing I have people who love and support me, now that I’m in a better environment.
- Date posted
- 10w
Hello everyone! This is my first post since downloading the NOCD app and wanted to share a little about my life with OCD. I was first diagnosed when I was 17 but truly started noticing there was something going on with me as early as 10. To summarize: I have the repetitive ritualistic type of OCD. Basically, I have a fear of becoming other people. I believe that if I perform an action, like turning off the sink or closing a door, or even breathing in and out while thinking about somebody, especially someone that I dislike, that eventually I will become just like that person or experience something they've been through that is negative; like health issues, personality issues, or social status decline. Simple example: I know this one dude named Richard, I worked with him in retail, and he told me about how his brother died at a young age. Now, it’s nighttime, and with that new information known about Richard, I believe, that If I take my contact out while thinking of Richard, or an image of him appears in my head while I’m taking out my contact, I believe that MY brother is going to eventually die too. What’s the solution?: I worked with another kid in retail. His name is Mikey, he was decently put together, and his brother didn’t die. So that means: Now with my contact still on my finger, I put it to my eyeball, and keep tapping at my eyeball with my contact while trying to get an image of Mikey perfectly timed, so that I can cancel out the image of Richard and save my brothers life. This is a challenge because the image of Richard, or I should say, the fear that my brother could die from this thought, is strong, and often times I have to think of other people (from other life experiences) along with Mikey just to feel confident that I got the image cancelled enough to move forward. Every day, I complete many actions and with every action comes a thought or image of some person I’ve encountered in my life that I’m either afraid of becoming or obtaining the same negative life experiences, which therefore means I also have all the othet people in my mind, at the ready, that cancel them out too. Every day I cancel people out and repeat actions disguised to the public. Sometimes it’s noticeable, but knowing how to cover your ugly side while making sure you don’t mess up your future with the wrong thought is just what I call life. I’m a man with a thousand people in his head and its been an EXHAUSTING journey. But through therapy and acceptance of myself, I have found a way to love with it. Like anything else, there are horrible days and okay days, but this is apart of me forever and im lucky to share it all with you! Can anyone relate?? Feel free to comment or reach out! - Matt
- Date posted
- 6w
I've been struggling about OCD for a long time and I've only been made aware of it now. It's the cause of all my worrying, compulsions, and all the times I feel unpeaceful. When I first learnt about it I felt really relieved. My kind of "obsession" are intrusive thoughts that contradict my faith and values. I've spent years fighting these thoughts and doing compulsions of seeking reassurance from verses or praying and such or saying "no I don't!!" when they happen. I try to ignore them anduse cognitive defusion but sometimes it just breaks my peace. Another obsession I have is having images in my head about touching dirty things like the rust in my bathroom. A compulsions I have regarding that is imagining myself being anywhere BUT the bathroom but it doesn't stop. Now that I know, I'll try and find a way to heal, and figure it out with myself and God (because I can't rely on my parents, they're not the open-minded kind regarding mental health)
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond